Cyndi Pinziki: Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle.
Zora Carmichaels: Let's dry our tears and face our fears.
Dr. Linda Lao: Perpetual motion machines are machines that are supposed to disobey one of the laws of thermodynamics.
Unknown: You're just reading a bunch of stuff you read off the internet.
Shoshana Cox: I have a question for the Supreme Court. What happens when a woman has sex on a flight from London to Los Angeles, then takes the morning-after pill while flying across the time zone?
Krysta Now: I don't know.
Shoshana Cox: Then it becomes the morning-before pill.
Deena Storm: You are a genius.
Shoshana Cox: Hello. Can't answer to that.
Krysta Now: Holy shit. That is brilliant.
Announcer on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse.
Boxer Santaros: I'm a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide.
Boxer Santaros: Do you ever feel like there's a thousand people locked inside of you?
Roland Taverner: Sometimes.
Boxer Santaros: But it's your memory that keeps them glued together. Keeps all these people from fighting one another. Maybe in the end, that's all we have. The Memory Gospel.
Private Pilot Abilene: This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang.
Fortunio Balducci: Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval.
Zora Carmichaels: You know, there'd be a lot less violence in the world if everyone just got a little more cardio.
Walter Mung: What the fuck is this?
Zora Carmichaels: What, you won't take a personal check?
Walter Mung: No, I won't take a fucking check. Get the fuck out of my ice cream truck, you Cro-Magnon bitch.
Boxer Santaros: It all hinges on a Top Secret experiment. A young couple comes home from the hospital with a newborn baby. A week goes by and the baby still hasn't produced a bowel movement.
Roland Taverner: Maybe the baby's just constipated.
Boxer Santaros: No, no, no, no. This is a very special baby. This baby processes energy differently.
Roland Taverner: I haven't had a bowel movement in 6 days. I haven't taken a piss, either.
Senator Bobby Frost: Did I just see two cars porking each other?
Krysta Now: Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted.
