The Penguin: Please, now that all pretenses are off, call me Penguin - a flightless bird, but one with style.
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.
Grant Wilson: It's you, you stupid cat. Your nose whistles.
Jude Harrison: Meatless meatloaf?.. Isn't that just loaf?
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
Keely Teslow: She's in Indonesia.
Phil Diffy: You have your latitude and longitude mixed up. She's next to Kid Rock and Ricki Lake.
Keely Teslow: I know a shortcut through Tiger Woods.
Ari Gold: What the fuck are you wearing?
Lloyd: I'm trying out new looks! This one's my Andre 3000. You like?
Ari Gold: No, I don't. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fucking axle over the phone and try calling Cameron again?
Alice: We need like, rules of un-attraction.
Donald Trump: It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser."
Leon Tyler: We need to cauterize the wound.
Thelma Bates: How do we do that?
Leon Tyler: Well, in star wars they used the light saber.
Veronica: What's that?
Desmond Fellows: Did she try to draw herself?
Veronica: It's a Chinese character.
FBI Agent Max Canary: If I'm not mistaken, she just cut off your balls, Derek.
Derek Jennings: Just the one, Max. Just the one.
