Tommy Johnson: What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it.
Lucas: Your other weakness is ME.
Florence: I think I used to know your father in Jersey, he was a doctor, wasn't he? He used to come to our house quite often.
Julia Lambert: Actually, he was a vet, he used to go to your house to deliver the bitches. Your house was full of them.
Ava Gardner: You listened to my phone calls?
Howard Hughes: No! No! No! Honey I would never do that! I'd never do that! I... I just read the transcripts, that's all.
The Duke: Don't you fucking talk to me like I'm some kind of mug. Don't you fucking talk to me like that.
XXXX: Duke, don't take this personally. It's business. Now, you want to know how much these pills are worth?
The Duke: Yes. Fucking. Please.
XXXX: Now just because you pay a fiver a pop down the local cattle market, don't, for fuck's sake, think these pills are worth millions. They're not. We've got to find someone to buy these pills and they've got to split them into parcels, of say 100,000. They've got to find these people. It's hard work.
The Duke: Oh, you'd give a fucking aspirin a headache pal.
Stevie: Are you okay?
Trevor Reznik: Don't I look okay?
Stevie: If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist.
Flynn Carsen: She may have been in cahoots with Wilde all along! Cahoots... I've been cahooted.
Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
Bobby Long: We cannot tear out a single page of our lives, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.
Lawson Pines: George Sand.
Bobby Long: Now I thought that would be a hard one.
Peter Llewelyn Davies: That scepter's made of wood.
J.M. Barrie: Yes, well, we do dream on a budget here, don't we?
Mrs. Sedley: I thought her a mere social climber, but now I see she's a mountineer.
Ralph Walker: Father Hibbert.
Father George Hibbert: What is it Mr. Walker?
Ralph Walker: Producing a miracle is possible?
Father George Hibbert: Like flying to the moon is possible, but it's never going to happen.
Jin: You and I are just pawns on a chessboard.
Pastor Dan Parker: I'm a sexy man of God, and I know it.
Javier Suarez: It's like dancing with my mother's ironing board.
Neil: You called me your fucking... angel.
Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louie.
Rochester: I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life.
Det. Inspector Webster: You perform abortions, don't you?
Vera: That's not what I do dear. That's what you call it. But they need help. Who else they got to turn to? No one. I help them out.