Evelyn: I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.
Pina: Me, I can convert anybody. Give me an hour in the Gay Village and there's not gonna be a Gay Village no more! Hai capito?
Inspector Lau Kin Ming: I'm a cop too.
Professor Harold Hill: You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
Henry Jones: Ramon, I want you to have this.
Ramon: What is it?
Henry Jones: It's a bible, Ramon.
Ramon: What do you want me to do with a bible?
Henry Jones: I want you to read it, Ramon.
Ramon: Which part?
Henry Jones: Whatever part speaks to you.
Sigmund Jähn: Socialism doesn't mean live behind a Wall. Socialism means reach the others and live with the others.
Jacki: A murderer, a rapist and a dyke go into a tattoo parlor.
Charley: Excuse the cryin'. I am a damn cryin' machine. That's why I drink so much water, won't have any fluids left in me. Have you ever been depressed?
William Gibbs: I've never not been depressed.
Sam Drebben: Another day, another dollar.
Eva Braun: Now why is it, Herr Hitler, that no photographer has ever been able to capture the incredible magnetism of your eyes?
Fait: You read Chinese?
Archie: No, but I know "cop" in every language.
El Mariachi: Why me?
Sands: Frankly, because you've got nothing to live for... and in a way you're already dead and Marquez is the one that killed you so why not return the favor?
Roy: Fourteen! You're fourteen! When'd you have time to get arrested?
Les Gault: What'd you do that for?
Joe Taylor: I had no use for it.
Les Gault: Must be worth something, though.
Joe Taylor: Not to me.
Toby Radloff: I consider myself a nerd.
Ronald Reagan: If you don't mind, this administration has to pee.
Natalie: I thought shit like that only happened in the movies.