Harvey Pekar: Man, listen, I'll tell you something, people are starting to know the name Crumb. And when you croak, man, you're gonna leave something behind.
Robert Crumb: Yeah, I guess. Ha-ha. It's not like I'm Blind Lemon Jefferson or Big Mama Thornton.
Harvey Pekar: Oh, come on, man. I'll tell you something, it sure beats working a gig like mine, being a nobody flunky and selling records on the side for a buck.
Robert Crumb: Well, that's true.
Joyce Brabner: Harvey, may I have a glass of water and an aspirin?
Harvey Pekar: Why, do you have a headache?
Joyce Brabner: No, but I want to avoid getting one.
Danielle: I think I'm going to write my own comic.
Harvey Pekar: Oh yeah? What about?
Danielle: I'm not sure yet, but not about you. I think you have enough already.
Toby Radloff: You might want to try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.
Robert Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?
Harvey Pekar: Sorta, yeah. But no idealized shit. No phony bullshit. The real thing, y'know? Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.
Harvey Pekar: So... what are you worried about then?
Joyce Brabner: Well, it's the way... it's the way all the different artists draw you.
Harvey Pekar: What?
Joyce Brabner: You know, I don't really know what to expect. Sometimes you look like a younger Brando... but then the way Crumb draws you, you look... like a hairy ape, with all these wavy, stinky lines undulating off your body. I don't really know what to expect.
Harvey Pekar: No, those are motion lines. I'm an active guy.
Mattress Guy #1: So is the girl smart?
Mattress Guy #2: Well, I guess she's about average.
Mattress Guy #1: Average! Man, average is dumb.
Joyce Brabner: I'm a self-diagnosed anemic.
Harvey Pekar: Wow, you're a sick woman.
Joyce Brabner: Not yet, but I expect to be.
Toby Radloff: How long are you going to be in Delaware? Because I'd really like to see this movie with you.
Harvey Pekar: I don't know. I'll be gone about a week. But I'm getting married, so I'll have to bring her along too. Is it a girl flick?
Toby Radloff: Depends on the girl. Is your new bride a nerd?
Harvey Pekar: I don't know. Kinda. Yeah. She's in to herbal tea.
Toby Radloff: I consider myself a nerd.
Harvey Pekar: Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.
Real Harvey: If you think reading comics about your life seems strange, try watching a play about it. God only knows how I'll feel when I see this movie.
