Missy Elliott: You, you need to call M.C. Hammer and let him know you're stealing his stuff. Ya'll two crazy people in here.
Walt: She's got mace.
Julie Taylor: Why don't we just play two-on-two?
Ryder: But you're.
Julie Taylor: A girl? So I can't play? But then I am black so maybe I can. Your only problem's gonna be deciding which one of your narrow-minded stereotypes is gonna kick your lily-white ass. Afraid you'll get beaten?
Christian Markelli: By a girl and a fag?
Senior Ed Bloom: I've been nothin' but myself since the day I was born, and if you can't see that it's your failin', not mine.
Andre Stander: I'm tried for robbing banks. But, I have killed unarmed people.
Judge: That is not the business of the court.
Lisa: She's a stupid bitch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
Chris: T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks.
Celia: As we speak darling, as we speak.
Ernestine: People are just getting dumber, but more opinionated.
Donny: Yo what are you doin?
Stuntman: Gettin' ready to race.
Donny: Without a lid? You not just drunk you crazy.
Stuntman: Just consider it a reminder, in case you glance at me.
Donny: A reminder of what?
Stuntman: That your lid's about to become mine.
Donny: Yea right.
Woo-jin Lee: Dae-su Oh talks too much.
Sgt. Nathan West: As some of you may have heard, there is a hurricane warning tonight. Well, Rangers do not wait on good weather. Rangers do not wait for bright sun shiny days. Oh, no. Rangers are trained to operate in the worst possible conditions, and takes those conditions and turns them against their enemies. You each have one rifle, one side arm, and one white phosphorous grenade. This is a live E&E, so please keep those weapons safetied, so you are not to shoot off your nonexistent dicks.
Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: In the Army of the Shenandoah, you were the First Brigade! In the Army of the Potomac you were the First Brigade! In the Second Corps of this Army, you are the First Brigade! You are the First Brigade in the affections of your general, and I hope by your future deeds and bearing you will be handed down the posterity as the First Brigade in this our Second War of Independence. God Speed.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Bert: I'm gonna call it off.
Glen: I think you'd better.
Fritzi: Wait.
Bert: Fritzi, what in the hell are you doing here?
Fritzi: Well I... I knew you'd be discussing stopping the show and I just thought how disappointed all the kids would be after.
Bert: You scheming little bitch.
Fritzi: Oh please! I'm a child.
Bert: If you think for one.
Fritzi: Oh save the speech, rummy. She's fucked, I'm ready, and the goddamn show must go on. So let's get cracking, shall we?
Ruby: This world won't stand long. God won't let it stand this way long.
Kathy: I miss my dad. He worked really hard for that house... It took him... thirty years to pay it off. And it took me eight months to fuck it up.
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Those Africans are my people too. For all the years that we have been told to stand down and stand by, you doin' the right thing.
Lt. A.K. Waters: For our sins.
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Hooyah.
Lt. A.K. Waters: Hooyah.
Detective Malloy: Some women give terrible blowjobs. No rhythm at all. No sense of cock whatsoever.