Yianni: Ian, if you're gonna be in this family, I get you some earplugs because the Portokalos women, if they're not nagging someone... they DIE.
Toula Portokalos: Ah, you're in so much trouble when I tell my sister.
Athena: Tell me what?
Raymond: Here is to being the only one.
Hinh: Sooner or later, Mr. Fowler, one has to take sides, if one is to remain human.
Justine: What are we doing here?
Holden: Makin' one outta two.
Bagel Guy: Yeah. Fire in the hole.
Guiseppe: Run, my little vixen... run, run.
Vijay: You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly, what more do you want?
Ramu Gupta: I want what you promised.
Sean Bateman: I just want to know you.
Lauren: Nobody knows anyone. You will never ever know me.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Barry: I have to get more pudding for this trip to Hawaii. As I just said that out loud I realise it sounded a little strange but it's not.
Devon: I might as well tell you this up front.
Mr. Wade: What's that?
Devon: I can't really read music.
Mr. Wade: Oh, that's all right, son. Some people can't read the sign that says "toilet." Doesn't mean they don't know how to use it.
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Ray Harris: It's only been three white geniuses ever: Da Vinci, Stallone in the first Rocky, and now you, Tony.
Mateo: When luck comes knocking on your door, you can't turn it away.
Sabina Spielrein: What can grow without rain? What can burn for years without end? Stone can grow without rain. But only love can burn for years without end.
Randolph Grady: You know, I could help you study.
Starla Grady: Yeah and what's the catch?
Randolph Grady: No catch, you just gotta be nice to me for the rest of my life.
Starla Grady: Ha! I should have known you'd exploit this for emotional blackmail. That's just mean you... user.