Andy: Come and dance.
Francesca Deane: Oh God. You don't dance as well, do you?
Andy: As well as what?
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.
Bobby Kent: You enjoyed that back there, didn't you?
Marty: No way, man, I ain't queer like those guys.
Bobby Kent: Yeah, bullshit, bullshit, I think you like dick. You don't gotta lie to me, boy, I know you like dick.
Nathan Conrad: Does she have a new hiding place that I don't know about?
Aggie Conrad: Probably... she's been running around the house like a wild cat all week.
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Admiral Reigart: Let's go get our boy back.
Spike: And you, you take way too long when you're taking a shit.
Spencer Olham: They're wrong about me, I've done nothing wrong, I'm a good man.