Spike: And you, you take way too long when you're taking a shit.
Tom Jericho: That makes me feel really stupid.
Hester Wallace: You're not the one with the Kestrel intercepts stuffed down your knickers.
Genesis: I'm Charles Manson of the information age.
Andy: Come and dance.
Francesca Deane: Oh God. You don't dance as well, do you?
Andy: As well as what?
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Sofía: What about you? What's your nickname?
David: Citizen Dildo.
Sofía: Hmm. You are not staying over.
Ken Cosgrove: How's it going?
Building 20 Guard: Big night. Switched from tea to coffee. Brought new meaning to my work.
Adam Kesher: I got the pool, she got the pool-man.
Ted: We're all time's captives, hostages to eternity.
Bobby: Ben Jonson?
Ted: No, Boris Pasternak. He was a Russian of no account, I think.
Doctor: You want to help her get better, don't you, Billy? We have to wake up Simon.
Kiyoshi Yamazaki: This isn't a mystery of life! It's a shit.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.
Lisa Connelly: The hitman needs a ride.
Nathan Conrad: Does she have a new hiding place that I don't know about?
Aggie Conrad: Probably... she's been running around the house like a wild cat all week.
Admiral Reigart: Let's go get our boy back.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Spencer Olham: They're wrong about me, I've done nothing wrong, I'm a good man.