Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.
Normal: Well, well, well... so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died... again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence?
Max Guevara: I overslept.
Dylan Hunt: It's a little known law of thermodynamics: The Conservation of Optimism: There's only so much to go around.
Christopher Titus: Cain slew Abel... oh, happy, happy Cain.
Kylie: Hi! I thought you might like to come out and interact with some human beings.
Eustace: I can't. I-I'm allergic.
Kylie: What?
Eustace: I'm allergic.
Kylie: You allergic to everythin'?
Eustace: Pretty much.
Kylie: Fine.
Eustace: Please - be careful of my mother.
Inuyasha: Somehow, without my ever noticing it, it felt so natural, having Kagome near.
Darien Fawkes: By the way, I want my tombstone to say, "Too late, he's already dead." You know, just in case more people show up wanting to screw my life over.
Jimmy Hughes: Wait, I thought you said you would support my decision no matter what.
Christine Hughes: Yeah! If you made the right one.
Susan: I have decided to put an end to this madness that is ruining all our lives.
Michael: You're going to kill dad?
Jackie: Wait! Bayblonian urn.
Ratso: What's a Babylonian urn?
Finn: Probably more than we do!
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'll have to have a word with you, please.
Jacqueline Wright: We're going to Longleat.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'm afraid the lions will have to wait.
Steven Harper: Whenever you don't know what to do, choose the hardest thing, because nine times out of ten, that's the right thing to do.
Col. Nick Fury: I can't let her go.
Wolverine: You can... and you will.
Baron Harkonnen: And so it begins. The trap is set. The prey approaches. A glorious winter is about to descend on House Atreides and all its heirs, and very soon, the years of humiliation visited upon my family will finally be avenged.
Opening theme song: Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. Life is unfair.
Richard: You're looking at my girlfriend's breasts.
Larry: First of all, Richard, they're not breasts. They're not breasts, they're just big chemical balls, okay?
Louis Stevens: I am making a quality cucumber shake here.
Ren Stevens: Not on my time.
Carl: I was gonna yell my brains out at ya, but because of your loss I might just gently ask... What happened last night with all the noise?