Howard Stern: Lesbians equals ratings.
Dirk Diggler: I'm Dirk Diggler! I'm the star! It's my big dick and I say when we roll!
Harriet: My mother says I was born with an angel on my shoulder. This is supposed to bring me luck and happiness. I think she lied.
Dr. Butz: When those lawyers start crawling all over you, that's when you know you're a doctor.
Mystery Man: We've met before, haven't we.
Fred Madison: I don't think so. Where was it you think we met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Fred Madison: No. No, I don't. Are you sure?
Mystery Man: Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.
Fred Madison: What do you mean? You're where right now?
Mystery Man: At your house.
Fred Madison: That's fucking crazy, man.
Mystery Man: Call me. Dial your number. Go ahead.
Kenny: I'm gonna call the Ghostbusters on your ass.
Steve: Who says we want what we think we want? We want what we think we are supposed to want? Like what the books tell us to want. And the movies. That's what I wanted. Happy. Happy, happy, happy. Shit like that, ok? We didn't get that. That's the end of that. Ok? It's not... the end of us. It's the end of a dream, that's all. You wake up in the morning, the dream's over, so what? We're still here.
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: You watched the Gulf War, what do you see day after day? The one smart bomb falling down the chimney. The truth? I was in the building when we shot that shot - we shot in a studio, Falls Church, Virginia. One-tenth scale model of a building.
Stanley Motss: Is that true?
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: How the fuck do we know? You take my point?
Joe Ross: You could call me Joe.
Susan Ricci: Yeah, long as I didn't take that as inducement to, you know, further intimacy.
Curtis Freley: Everyone who plays the game understands the rules.
Nicole: As you see her, two years later, I wonder if you realise something. I wonder if you understand that all of us - Dolores, me, the children who survived, the children who didn't - that we're all citizens of a different town now. A place with its own special rules and its own special laws. A town of people living in the sweet hereafter.
Helen Holt: There's different kinds of love, darling. Some people you love no matter what, and others you love if the situation is right. To me, the best kind of love is the "no matter what" kind.
Ellen: What happened?
Det. Duvall: Burglery... She lost a lot of jewelry. Not to mention the house trashed, the cat eviscerated.
Don King: Black people don't get no credit for nothing. All we've got is one word. That word is motherfucker.
Joan: So now you're blaming me because I don't go out with you enough, to meet strangers to fuck.
Catherine Greer: Whore.
Rebecca: I am not a whore.
Catherine Greer: Then what are you?
Rebecca: He told me what you're like between the sheets. Is it any wonder he needs a woman?
Ulysses Ulee Jackson: I'm sorry about this, Helen. I'm sorry about a whole lot of things.
Sonny: I'm a genuine, Holy Ghost, Jesus-filled preachin' machine this mornin'.