Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their "best"! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
[Goodpseed cocks his gun.]
Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah.
Dusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.
Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.
Vic Deakins: Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?
Rat: I hope there's a good movie on this flight.
Centipede: I wanna escape from Spiker and Sponge.
Earthworm: Escape? To where? We'll all be squashed and swotted and swooshed.
Grasshopper: No one's going to swoosh you my dear boy, you're six feet through now.
Earthworm: Bigger target.
Robert Grant: You got to get out of here. Mrs. Dubrow hates kids. She once kicked Big Bird in the nuts.
William Riker: Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgment."
Zefram Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense! Who said that?
William Riker: You did! Ten years from now.
Hawthorne: I wouldn't have thought bravery would be a problem for you.
Charles Remington: Well, you hope each time it won't be... But you never really know.
Rizzo: What's wrong?
Gonzo: It just feels so weird.
Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
Gonzo: Yeah, that... And my pants are filled with starfish.
Rizzo: You and your hobbies.
Captain Christopher "Skipper" Sheldon: Nothing happens on this ship that I don't know about. She speaks to me in the night. So don't test me, not even a little.
Bill Clinton: In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
Butt-head: Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. We're in the bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. And maybe some chicks, too.
Tails: Sonic! Help me, please! Please, help, Sonic.
Sonic: Grrrr... shut UP, tails.
The Doctor: Grace, I came back to life. I held back death. Look, I can't make your dream come true forever, but I can make it come true today..
Jim Phelps: Of course he knew. Just when he knew is something of a mystery. You mind telling me, Ethan? Was it before or after I showed up in London?
Ethan Hunt: Before London. But after you took the Bible from the Drake Hotel in Chicago.
Jim Phelps: They stamped it, didn't they? Those damn Gideons.
Bowen: All my life I've dreamed of serving noble kings, noble ideals. Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hands long after they've turned to dust. I will not be that naive again.
Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.