Dooley: Alright, let's get one thing straight: The woman is mine! Now we're both members of the animal kingdom. You know that and I know that. And we both know that this thing is really primal. So if you think you're such a badass you just try that one more time and you're gonna end up in a pet cemetary! You remember the movie Old Yeller? You remember when they shot him in the end? I didn't cry! Now come on.
Ray Tango: Pleasure doing time with ya.
Gabriel Cash: Yeah, I'll never forget that time in the shower.
Phyllis: This dance is called "The Freddie." I know, I know. Life is so ironic.
Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Let me handle this. How did this happen?
Raul Hernandez: For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly.
[Richard's in the water behind the boat and Larry is returning.]
Richard Parker: Stop the boat, you idiot! Stop the boat!
Larry Wilson: Where...where are the brakes?
Richard Parker: Boats don't have brakes, captain!
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: I tell you rest on need-to-know basis
Detective Tony Costas: Need to know? I tell you what I need to know, I need to know why I shouldn't put my foot up your ass!
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Reason very simple. Most uncomfortable position for both parties. (00:42:15)
Lilly: Oh, Riff, since Cindy's not feeling well, looks like you and I are gonna be partners.
Riff: No fuckin' way.
Rhet: A roger, a love wand, joy stick, dong, zipper lizard, tally whacker, trouser snake, schlong.
Helen Downing: Back then, dinner and a movie might have gotten you into some girl's panties, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to get into mine.
Judah Rosenthal: I remember my father telling me, "The eyes of God are on us always." The eyes of God. What a phrase to a young boy. What were God's eyes like? Unimaginably penetrating, intense eyes, I assumed. And I wonder if it was just a coincidence I made my specialty ophthalmology.
Trevor: I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer.
Erik: Maybe none of us will return.
Snorri the Miserable: Oh, well that's much more sensible than just Thorfin getting killed. Shall we all go and pack now?
Arnie Fromson: You can't do this. You can't abuse yourself.
John Belushi: Look, I don't pay you to be my best friend. I don't ask you what you do after six o'clock, don't ASK ME! nobody tells ME what to DO.
Arnie Fromson: You can't tell me what to do with you either. I'm not talking about business now, John. I'm talking about your life.
Alexandra Page: I didn't even read the questions, I just took a number 2 pencil and filled in the bubbles as fast as I could.
Christopher Wooden: What did you put for sex?
Alexandra Page: Occasionally.
Penn: Ah, the revolution! Starting in the most unlikely of places: Trump Casino, Atlantic City.
Maxwell Smart: Because at this very moment, this warehouse is being surrounded by one hundred cops with Doberman pinschers. Would you believe it? A hundred cops with Doberman pinschers.
Nicholas Dimente: I find that hard to believe.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe ten security guards and a bloodhound?
Nicholas Dimente: I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart: How about a Boy Scout with rabies?