Rankin: Let me tell you where you assholes stand. First there's God, then the warden, then my guards, then the dogs out there in the kennel, and finally, you. Pieces of human waste. No good to yourselves or anybody else.
Max: We'll go on the count of three.
Max and Pig Killer together: One...
[Max yanks the door open.]
Pig Killer: What happened to two?
Shinyuki: The Black Star Ninja has betrayed the code.
Joe: Then... he must die.
Count Magnus Lee: What a wonderful night this has been! For the first time in one hundred years I haven't been bored once.
Paul Kersey: My friend Wildey's coming.
President Grimshaw: I don't want to see you near my daughter again. That innocent little flower is my treasure.
Max Landsberger: Lesson No.4: the secret to survival here is never make a decision.
Jack Issel: Never?
Max Landsberger: Never. The minute you do, you're screwed.
Gordon: OK. Let's...follow that bird.
Matt Hunter: Tell me something John, what are you going to do when the social security people find out you've been moonlighting?
John Eagle: Ain't found out about my air boat business. Been doing it for 40 years.
Matt Hunter: That's probably because you haven't made a profit in the last thirty-nine.
Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: We're Americans - we've never lost a war.
Jason: What about 'Nam, sir?
Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: 'Nam? We lost that war at home, sonny.
Cooper: Hulse, I want you to put a special mike on him tonight, one that isolates everything he plays from the rest of the orchestra. Carson, you link it into the gblx 1000 computer.
Maddy: The gblx?
Cooper: Yeah. That thing'll break any code.
Maddy: But that's in control of our entire missile defense system.
Cooper: Honey, will you please - what are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night?
Kevin: Tough day on the right wing, Dear?
Luis Molina: The nicest thing about feeling happy is that you think you'll never be unhappy again.
Sister Agnes: I don't understand what you're talking about. You want to talk about the baby, everbody wants to talk about the baby. But, I never saw the baby. So I can't talk about the baby, because I don't believe in the baby.
Monty Brewster: Why is it when there's trouble we're the ones that get into it. I mean, there's a bar full of people and we're the only ones in jail.
Spike Nolan: I don't think it's racial you know, because I'm in here with you.
Monty Brewster: That's comforting.
Daryl: What is a hooker?
Wicket: Star Cruiser Crash Crash.