Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: Pope, I really don't mind you being an asshole, you really can't help that, but I do mind you lying to me like I was a fool. Now you came here with one thought in mind, and that was to attach yourself to me so the target would know who I am and what I am. Now, who's gonna perform this sanction if he gets me? You?
Pope: You don't think I can handle it?
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: In a locked closet with a grenade.
Frank O'Brien: What the hell are they shooting?
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: When you tell an Indian things will be a certain way and then they're not, he's inclined to think maybe you crossed him.
Frank Nitti: He was stupid. He was an animal. All he knew were guns, Tony. That's what put him on top and that's how he figured to stay on top. He was so busy pumping bullets in the guy across the street that he forgot something.The same thing Johnny Torrio forgot. That the guy you really gotta watch out for isn't across the street at all. He's the bum standing on the same ladder you are. Right behind you.
Don Rubio Gorro: That dirty little tramp from my office, she could never lead them to Quetzamal.
Capt. Seas: That's what I'm counting on. Lots of money is at stake.
Narrator: Barry - had now arrived at the pitch of prosperity and by his own energy had raised himself to a higher sphere of society. Having procured his majesty's gracious permission, to add the name of his lovely Lady, to his own. Henceforth, Redmond Barry assumed the style and title of: Barry Lyndon.
McMurphy: What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets, and that's it.
Junior: Frankenstein! Frankenstein the legend, Frankenstein the indestructible! Sole survivor of the titanic pile-up of '95, only two-time winner of the Transcontinental Road Race... Frankenstein! Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed, and reamed... a dancer on the brink of death... Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98, an arm in '99! With half a face and half a chest, and all the guts in the world, he's back.
Russian: You know, I had a boy like you once. He was as ugly as dirt... took after his ma. I ended up having to slit his throat.
Lady Pearl: Mister, uh, Triplette. Now I'm real sorry ol' Delbert went and told you Haven would appear at the political rally. He knows better'n that. Well, we never let Haven Hamilton take sides, politically.
Haven Hamilton: You understand we give contributions to ever'body. And they are not puny contributions.
Lady Pearl: Only time I ever went hog-wild, around the bend, was for the Kennedy boys. But they were different.
Sheriff Jeff Jones: I used to take physics, but I find prunes do a better job for me.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Tomorrow, we are poking holes all over caravan site.
Prof. Roland Crump: I don't think they would like that at all.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's ok, we are poking early.
Norman: I want you to learn to collect for the coffee, George. Learn to nickel-and-dime. You're going to end up without a pot to pee in.
Cmdr. Charles Swann: This isn't Chicago.
Brannigan: You're right, you can't get a decent burger anywhere in this town.
Sigerson Holmes: You call this tea?
Orville: No, I call that hot water.
Store Clerk: Well, sir, a covered wagon pulling outta St. Joe didn't take near as much supplies as you got yourself here, Mr. O'Day.
Jason O'Day: You're sure one well-informed man, aren't ya? Now, did you think you can hand me that carton without straining yourself, or are you just tuckered out from sticking your nose in my affairs?
John Wintle: I'm leaving for San Francisco tonight.
Sheriff McCoy: San Francisco's loss is Quake City's gain.