Rudolph: What do you want?
Clarice: You - You promised to walk me home.
Rudolph: Aren't you going to laugh at my nose, too?
Clarice: I think it's a handsome nose. Much better than that silly false one you were wearing.
Rudolph: It's terrible... and it's different from everybody else's.
Clarice: But that's what makes it so grand. Why, any doe would consider herself lucky to be with you.
Rudolph: Yeah? But I wasn't very lucky today, was I?
Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
James Bond: Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
Miriam: Why wouldn't I tell him that his pure, darling little girl was having a dirty little affair with a married man?
Charlotte: You're a vile, sorry little bitch.
President Merkin Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
Pte. Thomas Cole: Why is it us? Why us?
Colour Sergeant Bourne: Because we're here, lad. Nobody else. Just us.
Little John: When your opponent's sittin' there holding all aces, there's only one thing left to do: Kick over the table.
Dreyfus: What about the maid?
Clouseau: The maid?
Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.
Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.
Dreyfus: A mistake?.. in a nudist camp?
Clouseau: Nobody's perfect.
Dreyfus: Idiot nincompoop lunatic.
Landlady: ...and what things does she want? Her bird cage and her Chinese fan. But she says, never mind about sending any clothes.
Wyatt Earp: Say, you're the doctor around here. How come I always have to perform all the complicated operations?
Doc Holliday: You know I am a dentist, not a doctor. Wait until somebody shoot him in the teeth.
Clint Stark: I was like you once, long time ago. I believed in the dignity of man. Decency. Humanity. But I was lucky. I found out the truth early, boy.
Ed Cunningham: And what is the truth, Stark?
Clint Stark: It's all very simple. There's no such thing as the dignity of man. Man is a base, pathetic and vulgar animal.
Prof. Karl Meister: Well, I hadn't seen you for some considerable time, so I thought I'd come see what you're doing.
Paul Heitz: It's a long story.
Prof. Karl Meister: I've come a long way to hear it.
Robert Morgan: Another day... another day to start all over again.
Rusty Martin: I heard about your money, Lucky, I'm sorry.
Lucky Jackson: It's only money.
Rusty Martin: Only money! Do you realise how hard it is to earn money?
Lucky Jackson: But I won it.
Fakrash: Select the design you wish and 3,000 houses will appear before your eyes...an entire city.
Harold Ventimore: You can't put up houses like that!
Fakrash: Oh, yes I can! With one wave of my hand.
Harold Ventimore: Listen, Mr. Fakrash, you don't own this land. And even if you did, you can't build on it without a building permit. Then detailed plans have to be drawn up, then the building Inspectors have to OK them, then they have to approve every step of the work: foundation, plumbing, electrical... Furthermore, all materials must be union made and all work must be done by union labor.
Fakrash: When the Pharaohs put up the pyramids, they had no such problems. In those days...
Harold Ventimore: - These aren't those days, they're these days. There is no room for magic now. Everything must be done legitimately today. (01:10:00)
Julius Caesar: Tony.
Mark Antony: Julie! I caught you with your toga up.
Julius Caesar: Oh yes, I'm sorry I've caught something, one of these local things I can't seem to shake off. It's called "a-stinking-cold".
Mark Rutland: Before I was drafted into Rutland's Miss Taylor, I had notions of being a zoologist. I still try to keep up with my field.
Marnie Edgar: Zoos?
Mark Rutland: Instinctual behavior.
Marnie Edgar: A lady's instinct too?
T.V. Director: I won an award.
John: A likely story.
T.V. Director: It's on the wall in my office.
Livius: A few days longer, Caesar, we'll bring you his head.
Marcus Aurelius: No Livius, please don't bring me his head. I wouldn't know what to do with it.
Didont: With luck, no one will be hurt.
Labiche: No one's ever hurt. Just dead.
Didont: Paul, uh, have you ever seen any of those paintings on that train? I haven't. You know, when it's over, I think maybe we should take a look, hmm?