Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'll have to have a word with you, please.
Jacqueline Wright: We're going to Longleat.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'm afraid the lions will have to wait.
Ethan Burke: C'mon this isn't an ordinary town. You know that.
Nurse Pam: You are very right about that. This is no ordinary town. This is an extraordinary town.
Veronica: I guess 'dress to impress' meant to dress like your favorite Pussycat Doll.
Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.
Chanel Oberlin: What fresh hell is this?
Don Eppes: Hey, Dad. What are you doing here?
Alan Eppes: Well, I-I like coming whenever Charlie gives one of these math-for-dummies lectures. It's the only time I actually understand what he's talking about.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
The Secret of the Unicorn: Part 1 - S1-E3
Tintin: He looks exactly like you.
Captain Haddock: Yes, he is good looking.
Madeline Magellan: Enough with the pedanticism and let us eat.
Jonathan Creek: The word is pedantry.
Jimmy Wyler: Do you believe in redemption, Mr. White?
White: As long as it doesn't require funeral arrangements.
Crypt Keeper: Heads, I win. Tails, you ooze.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Artie Nelson: Y'know what the Talmud says? When someone's comin' to kill ya, get up early, kill 'em first.
Fitz: So - you don't drink, you don't smoke, and you don't gamble. What do you do then? C'mon Michael, there must be something for you to confess! A little wank on the sofa during Baywatch isn't a mortal sin.
Joe Dubois: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda.
Allison Dubois: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe Dubois: You can read minds.
Michelle: I thought you never lied.
Austin: I don't. It's just that sometimes I withhold the qualifiers.
Michelle: For somebody who says facts are all that count, Mr. Jimmy Austin, you're the most deceitful person I know.
Austin: I once determined that there are forty-nine different ways to misrepresent the truth. I only use six, way below the national average of thirty-two.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Without Jenko we're gonna be Charlie's Angels.
Miles: It's more than that. He wants to sleep with me, he follows me into the shower.
Phil: Dude, we're in a locker room. Make it clear you're talking about a lizard.