Joe Dubois: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda.
Allison Dubois: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe Dubois: You can read minds.
DEA Agent Denise: I understand we're both staying at the Great Northern. How's the food up there?
Dale Cooper: Denise, you're in for a big surprise.
Sheriff Truman: So are they.
Dennis 'Cutty' Wise: The game done changed.
Slim Charles: Game's the same, just got more fierce.
Sister Josepha Montefiore: "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" Christ asked the same question.
Richard: Did he get an answer?
Sister Josepha Montefiore: Well, he wasn't a scientist so he knew that... some questions have none.
Narrator: Ready for a story about superheroes? Ugh, more TV superheroes. Just what the world needs. Be honest, have you hung yourselves yet? Or, what if I told you this was actually a story about super-zeroes? Losers. Achingly pathetic meta-human goose eggs. How about it? Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives for the next hour or so? Follow me. Our story begins, as such stories do, with a visit to a Nazi. I'm sorry. Cobbler.
Terry McGinnis: Look, if you had any proof they were going to do something, it would be different. But I'm not going to change my plans because of a hunch.
Bruce Wayne: Batman would.
Terry McGinnis: Hey, I put my life on the line all the time. One night isn't going to make any difference.
Bruce Wayne: One night always makes the difference.
Betty Cooper: I'm not gonna ask what you did with Veronica at Cheryl's. I'm asking you now, right now, if you love me, Archie, or even like me?
Archie Andrews: Of course I love you, Betty. But I can't give you the answer you want.
Betty Cooper: Why?
Archie Andrews: You are so perfect. I've never been good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you.
Dr. Max Hudson: If I start to go crazy can you... take care of me?.. In the back of the head.
Diana Skouris: You won't even see it coming... Dr. Hudson?
Dr. Max Hudson: I just gave you permission to blow my head off. You can call me Max.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.
Samson: Lyle, I'm tellin' you this operation is 100% legit.
Sheriff Lyle Donovan: I never heard an honest man use "legit."
DS Ellie Miller: Most people have a moral compass.
DI Alec Hardy: Compasses break.
Frank Semyon: Never do anything out of hunger. Even eating.
Jack Hudson: Yes Miles, if you're right, you can say you told me so. And I know you will in that special way that makes us all love you so.
Episode #1.3 - S1-E3
Kate: You wouldn't have a problem if this was your daughter?
Jack: She's not my daughter!
Kate: She's someone's daughter.
Jack: Every woman I've ever had sex with was someone's daughter, it's never stopped me from playing daddy.
Kate: Urgh.
Jack: I think that might have come out wrong.
Kate: OK, if your daughter was a stripper.
Jack: Why is my daughter a stripper?!
Kate: Ah, so you would mind!
Jack: What if your son...was a rapist?
Kate: How is that relevant?!
Jack: You started it.
Kate: I want you to acknowledge how you'd feel if your daughter made her living by having men leering at her.
Jack: OK, how would you feel if your rapist son attacked my stripper daughter, threw acid in her face, she's disfigured for life, can't even work!
Kate: I wouldn't defend him.
Jack: Your own son?! Some mother you'd be.
Dr. Drakken: Oh look, it's Kim Possible and her friend.
Ron: Hello, I've got a name.
Dr. Drakken: Which I can never remember.
The Woodsman: This is the water. And this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within.
Vivian Blackadder: Amad bin Atwa supplied money and explosives to Hasan Mohammed, who executed the attack on the Cole. They're an all-Jihad team that's been together for nine years. If Bin Atwa gives up Hasan, I want in on the kill.
Gibbs: We're not tasked with capturing Hasan Mohammed.
Vivian Blackadder: Gibbs, my brother died on the Cole.
Gibbs: I know that.
Vivian Blackadder: Then get me in on this!
Gibbs: You're not here to use NCIS as your personal instrument of revenge. You get your head around this murder case, or you pull your tailored suit out of mothballs and you march your butt right back to the J. Edgar Hoover Building.