Yagami Light: I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it.
Phillip Broyles: Someone out there is experimenting, only the whole world is their lab.
Dylan Maxwell: Another day, another dick.
David Addison: Do bears bear? Do bees be?
Dr. Max Hudson: If I start to go crazy can you... take care of me?.. In the back of the head.
Diana Skouris: You won't even see it coming... Dr. Hudson?
Dr. Max Hudson: I just gave you permission to blow my head off. You can call me Max.
Narrator: Ready for a story about superheroes? Ugh, more TV superheroes. Just what the world needs. Be honest, have you hung yourselves yet? Or, what if I told you this was actually a story about super-zeroes? Losers. Achingly pathetic meta-human goose eggs. How about it? Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives for the next hour or so? Follow me. Our story begins, as such stories do, with a visit to a Nazi. I'm sorry. Cobbler.
Natalie: Nick, I'm in the habit of believing 10 unbelievable things before breakfast every day, starting with you.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.
Jack Hudson: Yes Miles, if you're right, you can say you told me so. And I know you will in that special way that makes us all love you so.
Dale Cooper: Ask me why I'm whittling.
Sheriff Truman: I give up. Why are you whittling?
Dale Cooper: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down, not go faster.
Episode #1.3 - S1-E3
Kate: You wouldn't have a problem if this was your daughter?
Jack: She's not my daughter!
Kate: She's someone's daughter.
Jack: Every woman I've ever had sex with was someone's daughter, it's never stopped me from playing daddy.
Kate: Urgh.
Jack: I think that might have come out wrong.
Kate: OK, if your daughter was a stripper.
Jack: Why is my daughter a stripper?!
Kate: Ah, so you would mind!
Jack: What if your son...was a rapist?
Kate: How is that relevant?!
Jack: You started it.
Kate: I want you to acknowledge how you'd feel if your daughter made her living by having men leering at her.
Jack: OK, how would you feel if your rapist son attacked my stripper daughter, threw acid in her face, she's disfigured for life, can't even work!
Kate: I wouldn't defend him.
Jack: Your own son?! Some mother you'd be.
Lucius Belyakov: A dark heart dwells where the branches meet / Anointed dagger plunge thee deep.
Det. William Moreland: You seem awfully happy today.
Det. Ray Cole: I got laid last night.
Det. William Moreland: Oh yeah? Your asshole still hurt?
Harvey Leek: Nash, the most high-tech thing on this computer is the flying toaster screen saver.
DS Ellie Miller: Most people have a moral compass.
DI Alec Hardy: Compasses break.
Ike Evans: This will, get ugly.
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
Dr. Drakken: Oh look, it's Kim Possible and her friend.
Ron: Hello, I've got a name.
Dr. Drakken: Which I can never remember.