Caroline: I'm not going to let them get away with this. I'm going to mock them in my comic strip.
Richard: No, no, no. Caroline, please. Remember when you mocked the electric company? I'm not working by candlelight again.
Caroline: He wants to get married.
Richard: To you?
Caroline: No, to you.
Richard: Mother, buy a gun it will be faster.
Caroline: But not nearly as much fun.
Richard: Ok, ok, well you've all met Lady Bracknall. So let the games begin.
Caroline: Well she really didn't say much but your imaginary friend, Adam, he spilled hit guts.
Annie: Yeah Mr. Bedwetter.
Richard: I can't believe she told you that.
Annie: She didn't, gotcha. Five bucks.
Annie: Happy birthday Tightass.
Richard: Thanks a lot, Tart.
Richard: Well, if it isn't the 8th dwarf, Easy.
Caroline: You're Richard's mother?
Natalie Karinsky: Oh, did he tell you I was dead? Usually he tells everyone I'm dead.
Annie: No. He said you lived in Utah.
Natalie Karinsky: Utah? I'd rather be dead.
Richard: This is ridiculous. I'm taking my lunch break. Del, I don't want any part in this.
Del: Oh come on, Richard.
Richard: Back off gentile.
Richard: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there were lots of mice playing, 'cuz the cat was dead.
Caroline: It wasn't my one and only marriage proposal. In second grade, a guy proposed to me and besides the fact that he ate paste, he was quite a catch.
Annie: Richie can't drive.
Richard: This is true, but if you lay down in the street I'll give it a try.
Richard's machine: Hello?
Caroline: Yeah, Richard, it's Caroline -.
Richard's machine: Actually it's a machine, but aren't we all?
Caroline: So now you decide to develop a sense of humor?
Caroline: Don't judge me. You drink from the toilet bowl.
Caroline: Are you going to untie me?
Richard: Not today.
Richard: Does this elevator go straight to Hell or do I switch in the lobby?
Richard: I'm stuck.
Del: What do you mean?
Richard: I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?
Richard: So, Donna, do you miss Rome?
Donna: Oh, no. All that traffic and noise and pollution, and rude people.
Richard: Oh, I can see why you moved to New York.
Aunt Mary: Nice to meet you, Richard.
Annie: Boy, there's a phrase you don't hear too often.
Caroline: Well, um, listen I'm really tired. And I have to get up early because I'm... Going to bed early.
Annie: That's how she was going to accept his proposal! It's so romantic.
Richard: How do you know it was a marriage proposal? It could have been a suicide pact.
Annie: Somebody wasn't breast-fed.
Richard: Somebody doesn't have breasts.
