Francie: Okay, seriously, we are not putting chocolate chips in the pancakes.
Will: I got news for you. Oh yes we are.
Agent Jack Bristow: The illusion of freedom is better than none at all.
Rachel Gibson: Oh, my God, you're.
Kelly Peyton: Not dead?
Rachel Gibson: I was gonna say evil, but.
Weiss: By the power invested in me by the United Church of Mammals, I now pronounce you man and wife.
Sydney: Weiss, have you seen Vaughn?
Weiss: That's all I am to you - just a conduit to Vaughn. Have you ever seen Vaughn and said "Hey, where's Weiss?"
Rachel Gibson: I'm the new girl, I panicked on the last mission, and everybody's questioning whether I can do it or not. And the truth is... I don't know. I'm terrified. But I'm more terrified of not trying. So I'm gonna put on my strappy shoes and my tiny dress and I'm gonna try. And by this time tomorrow, we'll know if I can do it or not.
Haladki: I think your judgment is impaired.
Vaughn: I think I'm going to kick your ass.
Will: So, I'm not annoying to dead people.
Weiss: Hey, you sure you don't want to talk about this?
Vaughn: There's nothing to talk about.
Weiss: I share my fights with you.
Vaughn: No you don't.
Weiss: Yeah I do. Remember when Alan pissed in the living room?
Vaughn: That was your dog.
Weiss: Yeah, but I was angry about it and I let you know how upset I was.
Marshall: You've got the looks. I've got the brains.
Vaughn: I've got the looks? You've got the brains?
Vaughn: You're probably gonna say no to this, but I wanna go to India.
Kendall: Go.
Vaughn: "Go"? What... Are you trying to get rid of me?
Marcus Dixon: We kill ourselves to do the right thing, meanwhile the bad people keep coming back.
Will: I have a contact who tracked your credit card from another one of your flights out of L.A.X. From that, they got your social security number. I did a trace on it. See, here's what doesn't make any sense, Kate Jones. You died in 1973.
Agent Jack Bristow: Your mother was sent to the United States to steal secrets from a ranking officer of the C.I.A. How she and I happened to meet, how she supposedly fell in love, I thought it was all true. But it was just a set-up.
McKenas Cole: Oh, wow, that was a moderately clever retort.
Sydney: What are you, twelve years old?
Sydney: Is something wrong?
Vaughn: No. I'm just getting old, I guess.
Sydney: You expect me to believe that?
Vaughn: I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all. It'll pass.
Sydney: Yesterday was the day, wasn't it? The anniversary of your father's death?
Vaughn: How could you remember that?
Sydney: I remember what missing him does to you.
Agent Jack Bristow: Any complications?
Sydney: Well, I think I lost us about $900,000, depending on the exchange rate.
Kendall: Just so we're clear, Mr. Vaughn, I know all about your participation in busting Agent Bristow out of federal custody. Convince her to talk to her mother, or face charges of obstructing justice and harboring a fugitive.
Vaughn: Guess it's two-for-one day on blackmail.
Marshall: I've lost my keys. Where are they?
Answer: Bad Day by R.E.M.