Pierce: Listen, Frank. We're all gonna make nice for Captain Hildebrandt today, but don't push us.
Burns: Well, a shave wouldn't be a bad start. You both look more like bums than doctors.
Trapper: Actually, I was, uh, I was thinking of becoming a bum doctor. But the proctology class was full!
Burns: HA! HA! HA!
M*A*S*H (1972)
2 quotes from Divided We Stand
Visible crew/equipment: In the opening scene where General Clayton is explaining the 4077 to the psychiatrist, the scene changes to the outdoor set and the camera pans to the right. As the camera pans past the hospital, a white 1970s era shuttle van can be seen driving into the set in the upper right corner of the screen. (00:01:35)
Trivia: Gary Burghoff's left hand was slightly deformed, and he often hid it behind his clipboard during filming.
Question: A number of times it is mentioned that the outfit is unarmed, yet several times, Frank has a rifle, or a pistol, and once Klinger had a grenade, and the guards and Klinger, while on sentry duty, has a rifle. Was this standard, or is this a mistake?
Answer: The Geneva Convention allows even doctors to carry a sidearm to be used in their self defense or the defense of their patients, however it is rare to do so.
Answer: As an old medical unit staffer, my experience is that med units have combat units assigned to defend them. Usually it was marines.
Answer: My old doctor (now deceased) served in Korea during the War. He was required to carry a sidearm anytime he was not in the hospital.
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Answer: Even an Army field hospital would have SOME weapons for self-defense if the enemy attacked. What's meant is that it's not a combat outfit, and therefore wouldn't have enough weapons to actually attack anyone. (It's also mentioned a few times that the Officer of the Watch is supposed to carry a pistol at all times, but Hawkeye refuses to do it when he's in charge and Colonels Blake and Potter don't enforce the rule).
Captain Defenestrator