M*A*S*H (1972)

Frank Burns: You disgust me!
Hawkeye: You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.

Frank Burns: I know I'm a real asset.
Hawkeye: You're only off by two letters.

Radar: Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns: I have no interest in the compound.
Klinger: He has no compound-interest.

Frank Burns: The men hate me, don't they?
Radar: Just your guts, sir.

Frank Burns: Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have.

Frank Burns: I wonder if I can say something useful?
Trapper: I often wonder that too, Frank.

Frank Burns: I'm taking this to a higher authority.
Trapper: Aw, Frank... You're not going to write your mother again.

PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.

Radar: Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake: I was born with someone waiting to see me.

Henry Blake: Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar: One of us has to.

Frank Burns: I love it here.
Col. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.

Frank Burns: Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Margaret: We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many.
Frank Burns: I know, darling, and I love being both of us.

Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.

PA System: Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.

Margaret: Act like a man, you sniveling twerp!

Colonel Flagg: I could kill you with one finger.

Henry Blake: You're always wrong, Frank. That's what's so right about you.

Dr. Sidney Freedman: I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist.

Col. Potter: Please excuse these two, they're themselves today.

Henry Blake: Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?
Radar: Oh, nobody does, sir.
Henry Blake: Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have to, but make sure we do, just in case we don't.