Kramer: You're wasting your life.
George: I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I'm living my life.
Kramer: Okay, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?
George: No.
Kramer: You got money?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have a woman?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any prospects?
George: No.
Kramer: You got anything on the horizon?
George: Uh...no.
Kramer: Do you have any action at all?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?
George: I like to get the daily news.
George: Well, she apologized, and then she wanted to know if we could get together Wednesday afternoon.
Jerry: Get together?
George: Maybe she just wants to talk to me.
Elaine: Married women don't "get together", they have affairs.
George: Oh my God, an affair. It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money.
George: I said "God bless you", is that so wrong?
Jerry: The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his "God bless you"? Because, as the husband, he has the right of first refusal.
George: Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this, once he passes on that option, that "God bless you" is up for grabs.
Jerry: No argument, unless she's one of these multiple sneezers and he's holding his "God bless you" in advance until she completes the series.
George: Well I don't think she is a multiple sneezer, because she sneezed again later, and it it was also a single.
Jerry: What if she's having an off night?
The Suicide - S3-E15
Jerry Seinfeld: The thing I don't understand about the suicide person, is the people that try and commit suicide for some reason, they don't die, and then that's it. They stop trying. Why? Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact, it's worse, 'cause now they've found out, here's one more thing you stink at. That's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. Because they give up too easy. I say if pills don't work, try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune-up. You know what I mean? There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself.
The Subway - S3-E13
Kramer: All right, Coney Island? OK, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N at Broadway and Lafayette. Or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue then switch to the IRT, 2, 3, 4, or 5. But don't get on the G. See, that's very tempting, but you wind up on Smith and 9th street, then you gotta get on the R.
Elaine: Couldn't he just take the D straight to Coney Island?
Kramer: Well yeah.
Rental Car Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.
Jerry Seinfeld: I don't understand. I made a reservation. Do you have my reservation?
Agent: Yes we do. Unfortunately, we ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.
Agent: I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car.
Gwen: I wondered what happened to my fiancé. I know he's here somewhere. Ellen, have you seen my fiancé?
Ellen: He's upstairs.
Gwen: Are you going upstairs? Tell my fiancé I'm looking for him. I have lost my fiancé, the poor baby.
Elaine: [In an Australian accent] Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Gwen: What?
Elaine: [Australian accent] The dingo ate your baby.
The Suicide - S3-E15
Jerry: Let me ask you someting. If you named a kid "Rasputin", do you think it would have a negative effect on his life?
Chosen answer: George does mention his brother in the episode "The Parking Space". They actually really never mention anything that contradicts the fact he had a brother though, it just isn't mentioned.