Hercules (1998)

Hades: Lord of the Underworld: Everybody's happy. Well, I'm happy. Everyone else is wracked with pain. Nice.

Hades: Oh, look, a flower. Nature's little reminder... that I LOATHE spring.

Cassandra: I'm not your sassy Cassie! I'm not your Cassie lassie! I'm not your anything and anything that stupidly rhymes with the first thing!

Pain: What evil can we inflict for you? Vengeance? Torture? Adult contemporary music?

Icarus: Yes, my friends, there's a lot to be learned from our elders. For example, if I had listened to Daedalus and not flown into the sun with wax wings.
Cassandra: ...You wouldn't be famous for doing something stupidly reckless.
Icarus: Oh, man! I was this close to wisdom! This close!

Hercules: Zeusapalooza? This is not dad's style at all.
Cassandra: This isn't anyone's style.
Icarus: Woo! Bring on the big Z, baby!

Parenthesis: For generations we've used the oracular reading of oxen guts to predict our student's careers, or lack thereof.
Hercules: Eeeyugh. Couldn't you use some sort of aptitude test instead?
Parenthesis: We tried that. The oxen guts were more accurate by 72%.

Zeus: Oh, Hades. I was just looking for the Little Gods' Room.
Hades: Go in the pool.
Zeus: Is that sanitary?

Cassandra: I can't believe all the trouble I've caused. It's so much better when you guys cause the trouble, and I get to sarcastically comment.

Minotaur: Oh, so I'm a monster now? I couldn't pick my parents, you know.

Hades: My business is dead people. If I have no dead people, my business is dead, people.

Tiresias: I used to have vast knowledge. Now they pin my room number on me.

Hades: Welcome to the Afterlife, the Unhappiest Place under Earth.

Hades: Have your minions call my minions.

Hades: Why. Do they do that? What is that, some kind of verbal diarrhea?

Arachne: I prefer to be called a freelance web designer.

Poseidon: Say, brother, did I ever tell you about when I invented the marine mammal?
Hades: Uh, yeah, Poseidon, about a zillion times.
Poseidon: 'Course, the first few drowned. You know, mammals. Then it hit me: blowhole.