Cole: Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?
Doug Heffernan: Hey, Deac, let me ask you, do you think Carrie's gained weight?
Deacon Palmer: Say what?
Doug Heffernan: Carrie, my wife, do you think she's gained a little weight, a couple pounds, maybe?
Deacon Palmer: I don't know. Every time I see her she's blocked by you.
Fez: Having sex with someone you work with is horrible. I don't know how Donny and Marie do it.
Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.
Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.
Mai Valentine: Hey! Cross on the green, not in between.
Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: Sorry, but we're being chased by a bunch of robed weirdos.
Jen: Cute.
Jack: Gay.
Jen: Aren't they all?
Mojo Jojo: But, but, but.
Blossom: But is right, and yours is about to get kicked.
Ezekiel Stone: You loved her, didn't you?
The Devil: I never loved anyone but God, and that was a long time ago.
Ezra: When the sanctified dead rise from their graves to receive judgment, I'll start doling out cash.
Sharon Carter: Actually, we're engaged "in theory."
Pete: Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about.
Sharon Carter: Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. And I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory.
Johnny Donnelly: Good luck finding a card for that.
The Silver Surfer: To me, my board.
Andros: Let's Rocket.