Best TV quotes of 1998

Cole: Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?

Fat City - S1-E2

Doug Heffernan: Hey, Deac, let me ask you, do you think Carrie's gained weight?
Deacon Palmer: Say what?
Doug Heffernan: Carrie, my wife, do you think she's gained a little weight, a couple pounds, maybe?
Deacon Palmer: I don't know. Every time I see her she's blocked by you.

Ssiscool ★

Charlotte: How can you forget a guy you've slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.

Linda: What do you have against the New York City Marathon?
Dr. John Becker: The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

Going to California - S5-E1

Kitty Forman: Oh good God, you kids switch partners more than square dancers!

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

New Will City - S3-E1

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

Mai Valentine: Hey! Cross on the green, not in between.
Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: Sorry, but we're being chased by a bunch of robed weirdos.

Jen: Cute.
Jack: Gay.
Jen: Aren't they all?

Icarus: Yes, my friends, there's a lot to be learned from our elders. For example, if I had listened to Daedalus and not flown into the sun with wax wings.
Cassandra: ...You wouldn't be famous for doing something stupidly reckless.
Icarus: Oh, man! I was this close to wisdom! This close!

Sharon Carter: Actually, we're engaged "in theory."
Pete: Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about.
Sharon Carter: Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. And I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory.
Johnny Donnelly: Good luck finding a card for that.

The Silver Surfer: To me, my board.

Andros: Let's Rocket.

Ezra: You're sneaky, I'll give you that, but you're? you're? help me out here, Buck.
Buck: You are crookeder than a yellow-bellied snake makin' its way through a prickly pear patch.
Ezra: Thank you.

Bubbles: Is this a stick up?
Blossom: It's more like a stuck up.

Father Horn: The Devil, he appears to you as a man?
Ezekiel Stone: Yeah. He looks a lot like a kid I used to beat the crap out of in sixth grade... I'm sure that's on purpose.

Cat: They all go haha with laughing at me, and they make me spill my Ice Cream all gone.
Dog: Be that as it may, your actions were rash.
Cat: Huh?
Dog: Nevermind. You wouldn't understand.
Cat: You did this to me, bow-wow person! You make the smarts go byebye! Gimme smarts back!