Quotes from Zach Braff movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Andrew Largeman: Hey Albert.
Albert: Yeah?
Andrew Largeman: Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
Albert: Thank you, and Hey, you too.

Mark: Silent velcro. You lucky mother fucker.
Andrew Largeman: I feel like if I would shown up at school and presented the idea of silent velcro they would have sent me away a whole lot sooner.
Sam: Why did they send you away?
Jesse: Ooh, listen to this girl.
Andrew Largeman: They didn't send me away.
Mark: You just said they sent you away.

Dr. Cohen: You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. Uh, I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half. For example.
Andrew Largeman: Wow. Um, but I don't really think that's it.

Andrew Largeman: You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for one reason or another. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was like snot running down my nose. And she offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose into it. And I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, this is love... this is love.

Andrew Largeman: That actually made me sadder than anything: the fact that I felt so numb.

Andrew Largeman: It's amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter inch piece of plastic.

Sam: This is the point in the conversation where you offer me a ride home.
Andrew Largeman: It is?
Sam: Yeah.
Andrew Largeman: Would you like a ride home?
Sam: ...Fine. But I'm not riding in that sidecar.
Andrew Largeman: Why not?
Sam: Sidecars are for bitches. Anyone who rides in one is automatically your bitch. Thus I will ride on the back.

Michael: When I was twelve, I'd close my eyes and picture what it would be like to be thirty and this is exactly what I saw: great friends, beautiful girlfriend. I should also mention that in that same fantasy Hulk Hogan was my live in bodyguard.

Finley: Did those crows just say we're gonna die?

JD: Who put this mistletoe up?
The Janitor: I did. I drove around the whole city before my 5 AM shift, just looking for that. Trying to add a little cheer. You will not ruin my Christmas. Not again. Not this year.
JD: But I've only worked here three months.

Turk: This guy needs brain work, this guy needs a heart...
JD: This one needs courage.
Turk: Helping or hurting, JD? Helping or hurting?

Dr. Cox: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... Do I smell beer?
JD: Uh, we... Uh, we had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.

Dr. Cox: You want some advice? No matter where you go in life, always keep an eye out for Johnny the tackling Alzheimer's patient.
JD: Now what's that supposed to mean?
[A patient flies in from offscreen, dragging JD through a door.]
Johnny: Who am I!?

Turk: Say it!
JD: I'm your biatch.

My Interpretation - S2-E20

JD: Look, uh... Janitor...I'm gonna be straight with you. I saw your penis, and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
JD: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
JD: Oh, I was outside, in the bushes.
Janitor: Uhhh...
JD: Look, it was just a coincidence, man - I mean, i-i-if you had looked out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know!
Janitor: What?! Why?!
JD: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!

My Advice to You - S3-E6

Dr. Kelso: If your grandmother were here, wouldn't you want her doctor to spend as much time with her as he does with anyone else?
JD: Grandma Dorian or Nana Hobbs? Because Nana Hobbs can be an eensy bit racist.
Dr. Kelso: Grandma Dorian.
JD: She's dead.