Quotes from William Shatner movies and TV shows

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

Denny Crane: I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load.

Hired Guns - S1-E10

Denny Crane: I'm an ex-Marine! I was a trained sniper. Or was it a pilot?

Jon Sandys ★

Denny Crane: You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

Denny Crane: Massachusetts is a blue state. God has no place here.

Denny Crane: I can act... I have an Emmy.

Denny Crane: May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the ass of big business I view the world as one giant colon.

Gil Furnald: I just like wearing women's clothes sometimes. It's not a sexual turn-on, it just feels right sometimes.
Denny Crane: So basically you're a sicko.
Gil Furnald: I'm not sick.
Denny Crane: Lighten up, man. So what, you got caught in a skirt? That what you're saying?
Gil Furnald: My employer found out, and, yes, I got fired. They asked me a lot of questions, like whether I'm gay.
Denny Crane: Well, are you? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Brian Stevens: Motion for continuance is denied.
Denny Crane: You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings? I'm going to sleep with your wife.

Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny Crane: Are you making fun of me?

Alan Shore: Denny, I refuse to shoot you.
Denny Crane: You... Democrat! Protesting war and banning guns. If you Nancys had your way, nobody would ever shoot anybody! And then where would we be?"
Alan Shore: "Where would we be..."

Donny Crane: He's mocking me... Dad, he's mocking me.
Denny Crane: You're a Crane. Get used to it.

Denny Crane: TiVo me, will ya?

Denny Crane: Denny Crane.

Denny Crane: This isn't about boobs at all!

Denny Crane: You left me, Shirley. Women don't leave Denny Crane. And for a secretary!
Shirley Schmidt: It was the Secretary of Defense.

Denny Crane: Nobody gets away with calling Denny Crane a terrorist!
Alan Shore: What would you like me to do?
Denny Crane: Perfect world? We blow 'em up.

Robert: Mr. Shatner, I just wanted to say that you are the greatest American actor, ever.
Bill: I'm a Canadian.
Robert: Then you're the greatest Canadian actor... ever.
Bill: There aren't that many of them.

Capt. Kirk: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

The Trouble With Tribbles - S2-E15

Capt. Kirk: I want to know what killed these tribbles.
Dr. McCoy: I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet.