Chuck Noland: I should've never gotten on that plane. I should've never gotten out of the car.
Chuck Noland: Gotta love crab. In the nick of time too. I couldn't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us.
Kelly Frears: You said you'd be right back.
Chuck Noland: I'm so sorry.
Kelly Frears: Me too.
Paula Abagnale: Just tell me how much he owes and I'll pay you back.
Carl Hanratty: So far, it's about 1.3 million dollars.
Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Stop chasing me.
Carl Hanratty: I can't stop, it's my job.
Carl Hanratty: But, sir, we're gonna let him get away.
Assistant Director Marsh: No, Carl, you let him get away.
Tom Fox: He doesn't have a passport.
Carl Hanratty: For the last six months, he's gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I'm betting he can get a passport.
Zvi: You want me to steer Israel towards an arms deal with Egypt, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia?
Charlie Wilson: Yes.
Zvi: Well, just one or two problems with that, just off the top of my head.
Charlie Wilson: Zvi.
Zvi: Afghanistan and Pakistan don't recognize our right to exist, we just got done fighting a war against Egypt, and everyone who has ever tried to kill me or my family has been trained in Saudi Arabia.
Gust Avrakotos: That's not true, Zvi. Some of them were trained by us.
Charlie Wilson: What's the gift for?
Gust Avrakotos: It's from the Afghan desk for doubling the budget for the Mujahadeen.
Charlie Wilson: Well, thank you.
Gust Avrakotos: It was nothing.
Charlie Wilson: It's a nice bottle of scotch. Must have been hard to get.
Gust Avrakotos: No, doubling the budget was nothing. Ten million dollars for covert ops against the Russian army is meaningless. What are you, an infant?
Charlie Wilson: I cannot just call up a judge and tell him what to do.
Larry Liddle: Why?
Charlie Wilson: Well cause it's against... a shitload of really good laws Garry.
Charlie Wilson: By the way, I love Jesus Christ and his mother Mary as much as anybody. About 38 churches you could move that creche to, everybody lives.
Charlie Wilson: These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the endgame.
Gust Avrakotos: It's called the Milan Anti-Tank Missile.
Charlie Wilson: Can the Afghans win without it?
Gust Avrakotos: No.
Charlie Wilson: End of discussion.
Charlie Wilson: How old are you?
Mike Vickers: I'll be 30 next week.
Charlie Wilson: This is CIA's weapons expert?
Gust Avrakotos: One of them.
Charlie Wilson: But he's the most senior.
Gust Avrakotos: Look.
Chess Player #1: Mike.
Mike Vickers: Yeah, bishop to queen's knight 7.
Gust Avrakotos: See, he's playing without even looking at the board.
Charlie Wilson: That's a useful skill... if Afghanistan's ever invaded by Boris Spassky.
Charlie's Angel #4: The Washington Post wants to know what you thought of your time in rehab.
Charlie Wilson: And what did you tell them?
Charlie's Angel #4: That the Congressman didn't go to rehab because they don't serve whiskey there.
Charlie Wilson: That's why you're my press secretary, boo-boo.
Gust Avrakotos: And with Doc's backing, you'll get the votes of the other committee members.
Charlie Wilson: Yep.
Gust Avrakotos: I don't believe you.
Charlie Wilson: I don't care.
Charlie Wilson: You mean to tell me that the U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is to have the Afghans keep walking into machine gun fire 'til the Russians run out of bullets?
Gust Avrakotos: That's Harold Holt's strategy, it's not U.S. strategy.
Charlie Wilson: What is U.S. strategy?
Gust Avrakotos: Well, strictly speaking, we don't have one. But we're working hard on that.
Charlie Wilson: Who's 'we'?
Gust Avrakotos: Me and three other guys.
Joanne Herring: Charlie, I want you to defeat the Soviet Union, and end the Cold War.
Charlie Wilson: O-K.
Charlie Wilson: Joanne Herring: "I miss you Charlie." Charlie Wilson: "Oh Joanne... I always miss you."
Charlie Wilson: Were you standing at the goddamn door listening to me? How could you even - That is a thick door! You stood there and you listened to me?
Gust Avrakotos: I didn't stand at the door. Don't be an idiot. I bugged the Scotch bottle.
Charlie Wilson: What.
Gust Avrakotos: It's got a little transmitter on it, I've got a little thing in my ear, get past it.
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