Quotes from Steve Buscemi movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Nikita Khrushchev: Be serious. Are you in?
Georgy Zhukov: I'm in, I'm in. That fucker thinks he can take on the Red Army? I fucked Germany, I think I can take a flesh lump in a fucking waistcoat.

Nikita Khrushchev: If he recovers, then we got a good doctor. If he doesn't recover, then we didn't. But he won't know.

Georgy Zhukov: Now, it's got to be tomorrow.
Nikita Khrushchev: Tomorrow?
Georgy Zhukov: Sorry, you busy washing your hair or what?
Nikita Khrushchev: Tomorrow's the funeral.
Georgy Zhukov: Yeah, the day that the entire fucking Army's in town with their guns.
Nikita Khrushchev: That's perfect!

Nikita Khrushchev: When you go home, make sure your wife writes down everything you think you said tonight. Alright? This way, in the morning you know what you're dealing with. It's Krushchev's law.

Neil: Looks like you've gained some weight.
Jane Proudfoot: It's called upper body strength Neil. Get a girlfriend.
Neil: I'm working on it.

Enid: You know, we need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.
Seymour: Well maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.
Enid: Yeah, yeah, just list your five main interests in order of importance.
Seymour: Uh... I'd have to put traditional jazz, blues and then ragtime at the top of the list.
Enid: Right, so, let's just say music. That way we only use up one.

Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That's the spirit.

Seymour: So, was that your boyfriend?
Enid: Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.

Wesley: I gave up clown college for this?

Burt Wonderstone: Anton, what could possibly go wrong?
Anton Marvelton: Somebody could die, we can go to prison.
Burt Wonderstone: See? When you say it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad.

McCord: Hey, just because people eat the burger, doesn't mean they wanna know the cow.

McCord: All right, look. I know you're new to this whole human experience and all, but there's one universal truth, and that is you never give a woman your credit card.

Mr. Pink: Hey, why am I Mr. Pink?
Joe: Because you're a faggot.
Mr. Pink: Why can't we pick our own colors?
Joe: No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.
Mr. Brown: Yeah, but Mr. Brown is a little too close to Mr. Shit.
Mr. Pink: Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. How 'bout if I'm Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Purple.
Joe: You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You're Mr. PINK.
Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?
Mr. Pink: Yeah, that's easy for you to say, you're Mr. White. You have a cool-sounding name. All right look, if it's no big deal to be Mr. Pink, you wanna trade?
Joe: Hey! NOBODY'S trading with ANYBODY. This ain't a goddamn fucking city council meeting, you know. Now listen up, Mr. Pink. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?
Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ, Joe, fucking forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.
Joe: I'll move on when I feel like it... All you guys got the goddamn message?. I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can hardly talk. Pssh. Let's go to work.

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

Mr. Pink: Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.

Mr. Pink: I can say I definitely didn't do it because I know what I did or didn't do. But I cannot definitely say that about anybody else, 'cause I don't definitely know.

Mr. Pink: We were set up. The cops were waiting for us.
Nice Guy Eddie: What? Nobody set anybody up.
Mr. Pink: The cops were there waiting for us!
Nice Guy Eddie: Bull shit!
Mr. Pink: Hey, fuck you, man! You weren't there - we were! And I'm tellin' ya, the cops had that store staked out.

Mr. Pink: For all I know, you're the rat.
Mr. White: For all I know you're the fucking rat!
Mr. Pink: All right, now you're using your fucking head!

Mr. Pink: We still gotta get outta here.
Mr. Blonde: We're gonna sit here and wait.
Mr. White: For what, the cops?
Mr. Blonde: Nice Guy Eddie.
Mr. Pink: Nice Guy Eddie? What makes you think he isn't on a plane half way to Costa Rica?
Mr. Blonde: 'Cause I talked to him and he said he was on his way down here.
Mr. White: You talked to Nice Guy Eddie? Why the fuck didn't you say that in the first place?
Mr. Blonde: You didn't ask.
Mr. White: Hardy fuckin' har.

Mr. Pink: Where's the commode in this dungeon? I gotta take a squirt.