Chazz: Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
Chris Moore: Lemmy.
[Rex imitates a game show buzzer.]
Chris Moore: God?
Rex: Wrong, dickhead. Trick question. Lemmy is God.
Rockhound: Hey Harry...
Harry Stamper: Yeah, Rock?
Rockhound: You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts, built by the lowest bidder.
Rockhound: Hey, guys, remember: we're, we're heroes now. So that incident with me and the gun on the asteroid. Let's keep that under wraps, all right?
Rockhound: Houston, this is a kick-ass ride!
Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Jimmy: If they ever have a kid, you won't be able to look directly at it.
Jimmy: I was always telling your pop he should sell this crap and make some money, but he can never throw anything away.
Max Simkin: Yeah, except his family.
Garland Greene: Define irony - a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
Garland Greene: There is no medicine for what I have.
Garland Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.
Casino employee: New shooter coming out! New shooter! Does the new shooter feel lucky? Well, does he?
Garland Greene: Yes. Yes, he does.
Nikita Khrushchev: I will bury you in history.
Vasily Stalin: I want to make a speech at my father's funeral.
Nikita Khrushchev: And I want to fuck Grace Kelly.
Nikita Khrushchev: You are accused of treachery against the Soviet Union, and of giving help to foreign powers...
Lavrentiy Beria: Foreign Powers? From where, the fucking moon?
Nikita Khrushchev: Can we stop twittering like fishwives?
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