Quotes from Richard Dreyfuss movies and TV shows

Pete Sandich: There's something fishy going on here, and I don't think it's the chicken.

Pete Sandich: Love! Ain't what it used to be.
Al Yackey: Oh there's only ever been two kinds: There's lash fires, which are all flame, burn themselves out and leave nothing. Then there's the long burning. That is nature's burn. Even when you think it's out, the forest floor is warm to the touch. That's the kind you and Dorinda got.
Pete Sandich: You're a poet, Al. You're a really bad poet, but you're a poet.

Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?
Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.
Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?
Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?
Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.
Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill.

Dave Whiteman: I ate garbage last night, Barbara... and loved it.

Dave Whiteman: Someone's pissing on my hydrangeas.

Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.
Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

Elliot Garfield: What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?

Elliot Garfield: If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face.

Elliot Garfield: You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best half-a-face I ever saw!"

Lucy McFadden: Congratulations.
Elliot Garfield: For What?
Lucy McFadden: I didn't know what else to say.

Elliot Garfield: You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate.

Elliot Garfield: Despite the fact that you're one large pain in the arse last night was the best thing that ever happened to me, girl wise, and if you weren't behaving like such a horses rectum you would know that we could be inside touching and fondling all day long until I've got to go to rehearsal. Personally madam, I think you blew it.

Elliot Garfield: Oh, Goddamn 'em to hell. I hate those guys that walked out of here. I hate them. I'm the only one that's coming back, and I'm getting all the blame.

Centipede: I wanna escape from Spiker and Sponge.
Earthworm: Escape? To where? We'll all be squashed and swotted and swooshed.
Grasshopper: No one's going to swoosh you my dear boy, you're six feet through now.
Earthworm: Bigger target.

Hooper: You know those eight guys in the fantail launch out there? Well, none of 'em are gonna make it out of the harbor alive.

Quint: When I was a little boy every little squirt wanted to be a harpooner or a sword fisherman. What you got here? A portable shower or a monkey cage?
Hooper: Anti-shark cage.
Quint: Anti-shark cage... You go inside the cage? [Hooper nods.] Cage goes in the water? [Hooper nods.] You go in the water? [Hooper nods.] Shark's in the water? [Hooper nods.] Our shark? [Hooper nods.]
Quint: [he sarcastically sings.] Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again. [Quint laughs and Hooper nods.].

Hooper: I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

Shelly Krippendorf: I just chased poultry through my backyard, looking like Tammy Faye Bakker. You owe me.

Veronica Micelli: Professor! Come here.
James Krippendorf: Oh... Tinker Bell.

Shelly Krippendorf: Let's see... we've had the backyard circumcision, we've danced with the pigs to assure my fertility - that one really changed my life. What's the next step? Cannibalism? Hey, Mrs. O'Brien, you doing anything tonight? We're having a barbecue, wear some hot sauce.