Quotes from Mark Wahlberg movies and TV shows

Stig: Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole.

Stig: They're torturing chickens, man.
Bobby: What is that you're eating.
Stig: A chicken.

Bobby: If Papi knew we were even talkin' about rippin' off Tres Cruces it would be our heads in that bag next to the potato salad.
Stig: No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small.

Stig: It's not very sporting, man. At least give the chickens a chance to shoot back.

J. Paul Getty: They say you never really know someone until you have divorced them.
Fletcher Chase: I wish I knew that three marriages ago.

Melvin Smiley: Technically, you can call me a hitman.
Keiko Nishi: Really? A hitman? Does that pay well?
Melvin Smiley: Oh of course. I make a killing.

Dirk Diggler: I'm Dirk Diggler! I'm the star! It's my big dick and I say when we roll!

Andy: Don't act like you don't like this shit.
Chris Farraday: Why, is that obvious? I know but don't tell your sister.

Chris Farraday: I've got to try and fix this. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

Nick Chen: Beef intestine noodle?
Danny Wallace: Uh, no.
Nick Chen: You wanna be Chinese, you gotta eat the gross stuff.

Danny Wallace: How do I know I can trust you?
Nick Chen: You don't.

Nick Chen: Black or red plum?
Danny Wallace: Nah, I don't like plums.
Nick Chen: What do you mean you don't like plums?
Danny Wallace: I like peaches.
Nick Chen: Peaches is shit. Haven't you ever heard the song Sinatra sang? 'Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum.' Not a peach, a plum.
Danny Wallace: I don't care if he pulled a raisin out of Sammy Davis' eye-socket, I prefer peaches.

Dusty Mayron: Hey, are you Roger?
Cool Dad: Nope.

Brad Whitaker: You built all this today? With my tools?
Dusty Mayron: Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.

Brad Whitaker: The step-king has had enough of the king's bullshit.
Dusty Mayron: Brad said a bad word.

Dusty Mayron: Dusty : It looks like we got our self's a dad-off, Brad.

Andrea Fleytas: I don't want to die! I don't want to die.
Mike Williams: You're not going to die. Trust me.

Surveillance Guy: Who the fuck are you?
Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

Colin Sullivan: I'm going to need the identity of your undercovers.
Dignam: Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there's no promotion involved for you.

Lazio: Without asking too many questions, do you have anyone in with Costello presently?
Dignam: Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.