Quotes from Lizzy Caplan movies and TV shows

Regan: Okay, how much money do you guys have?
Katie: I have 5 maxed out credit cards.
Gena: I have a twen... actually I ripped it. I got nothing.
Regan: Well, that sums up your lives.

Gena: You're seriously making pancakes right now?
Clyde: I am. Yours has a sad face made out of chocolate chips, because the world is an asshole and it's gonna get you.

Clyde: And you're wearing a dress?
Gena: No, actually it's a T-shirt.
Clyde: Well, it's good to see you're still fighting the good fight against the tyranny of pants.

Lina Warbler: Can we borrow your coffee maker?
Kat Warbler: Okay.
Lina Warbler: Don't you want to know why?
Kat Warbler: Well, I'm sure it's a gripping tale.

Kat Warbler: Penguins are cute and all. But, if you cooked one, I'd eat it.

Kat Warbler: If you that hot and you leave your house then you're asking to be stalked.

Hud: Look, all I'm saying is that this thing coulda have come from anywhere! It could have come from outer space!
Marlena Diamond: Like Superman?
Hud: Yeah! Wait... You know who Superman is?
Marlena Diamond: [Sarcastic.] Wait, you know Superman? Whoa... I need like, a minute here.
Hud: Okay, I get it...
Marlena Diamond: Are you aware of Garfield?

Marlena Diamond: Hey, Rob! Marlena. I think we met, probably three times total and every one of those times, I was really drunk. But, you have a cool job! That's something. You're president of something.
Hud: Vice President.
Marlena Diamond: Also really cool! So, good luck with that and we're gonna be here, all chilling and fun for you when you come back.
Hud: That was good. You wanna do another one?
Marlena Diamond: Do you have a card? My agency is leaving on this retreat and they like all this emotional, video-bonding crap.
Hud: I'm not a professional. I'm Hud.
Marlena Diamond: Hug?

April: What happened to your...
Adam: I got stabbed in the face with a fork, I saw it coming, I avoided it, I didn't avoid it, it happened to me in a different way.

Adam: I vowed to master the chaos.
April: You have to embrace the chaos. You have to, that way life might just astonish you.

Agent Lacey: Do not fight that tiger, you will die.

Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen. Once we crack Gretchen, we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damien: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.

Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... In Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... It was awesome.

Cady: She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.

Cady: And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade.
Janis: Well what does it say about me?
Cady: You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.

Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.

Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.

Janis: Wow, Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself.

Janis: There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.