Jack Swigert: So long, Earth. Catch you on the flip side.
Sheriff Kretzer: Boys I know you can hear me. You are in a whole lot of trouble.
Sheriff Kretzer: You don't... Steal... A Fucking... COP CAR.
Martin Thiel: I love the rain... it washes everything away... makes it clean.
Young Winnie: Hey! Hey, Fellatio! Got a match? Well, I do! Your face and my ass! Your breath made of buffalo farts.
David Labraccio: Do I know you?
Young Winnie: You don't know jack-shit! Butt-wipe! Needle-dick! Cock-bite! Jack-off! Limp-wrist! Corn-hole! Banana-breath! Shit-bird! Bird-turd! Turd-face! Kiss-ass! Brown-nose! Macho wimp! Limp dick! Fart-face! Tire merchant! What's the matter? Gonna cry? Come on, Crybaby Davie! Cry! Cry! Cry! Shit-face! Rat-turd! Ass-licking son of a bitch.
Willard: You won't get any dancing here, it's illegal.
Ren: Jump back.
Ren: Up on the roof, oh yeah. 100 proof, oh yeah. I'm feelin' fine, oh yeah. Drink cherry wine, oh yeah.
Willard: People think she's a hellraiser.
Ren: Is she?
Willard: I think she's been kissed a lot.
Mr. Gurntz: He was trying to teach that book down at the school.
Mrs. Allyson: Slaughterhouse-Five, isn't that an awful name?
Ren: Yeah it's a great book... Slaughterhouse-Five, it's a classic.
Mr. Gurntz: Do you read much?
Mrs. Allyson: Maybe in another town, it's a classic.
Ren: In any town.
Mr. Gurntz: Tom Sawyer is a classic.
Ren: You like Men at Work?
Willard: Which man?
Ren: Men at Work.
Willard: Well where do they work?
Ren: No, they don't, they're a music group.
Willard: Well what do they call themselves?
Ren: Oh no! What about the Police?
Willard: What about 'em?
Ren: You ever heard them?
Willard: No, but I seen them.
Ren: Where, in concert?
Willard: No, behind you.
Henri Young: I got nothin'. I got nobody. I don't need a lawyer, I need a friend.
James Stamphill: I will ask you what I want to ask you.
Henri Young: And I answer what I want to answer.
James Stamphill: Fine.
Henri Young: Fine.
Henri Young: Action - I won. Reaction - you can't ever take that away from me.
James Stamphill: How do you think the Yankees will do against the Redskins this year?
Henri Young: The Yankees are a baseball team. The Redskins are a football team. Personally, I think the Redskins would kick the shit out of them.
James Stamphill: Did you kill Rufus McCain?
Henri Young: I was the weapon, but I ain't no killer.
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