Harry: You shot me. I can't believe you shot me. They're giving you a medal for shooting me, you little prick.
Jack: Harry. You told me to.
Harry Temple: All right, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away... Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.
Jack: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry Temple: Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.
Jack: Cool.
Bernard Berkman: You'll have to share the bathroom with the boys. They get the upstairs and I have my own.
Lili: That's all right, as long as Walt remembers to pull the seat down.
Bernard Berkman: Ivan is fine but he's not a serious guy, he's a philistine.
Frank Berkman: What's a philistine?
Bernard Berkman: It's a guy who doesn't care about books and interesting films and things.
Bernard Berkman: Your mother's brother Ned is also a philistine.
Frank Berkman: Then I'm a philistine.
Bernard Berkman: No, you're interested in books and things.
Bernard Berkman: She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. I mean, exhibiting her cunt in that fashion is very racy. I mean Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her cunt?
Bernard Berkman: Put me in your mouth.
Bernard Berkman: How do you know they were both Frank's?
Ms. Lemon: Well, I suppose it's possible other kids are masturbating and spreading their semen around the school as well... It's possible, but, uh, somewhat unlikely.
Bernard Berkman: Oh, it happens, I'm sure, much more than we know.
Joan Berkman: Bernard, have you ever done anything like this?
Bernard Berkman: I'm not going to answer that.
Bernard Berkman: Joan, let me ask you something. All that work I did at the end of our marriage, making dinners, cleaning up, being more attentive. It never was going to make a difference, was it? You were leaving no matter what.
Joan Berkman: You never made a dinner.
Bernard Berkman: I made burgers that time you had pneumonia.
Bernard Berkman: Hey - Watch it.
Frank Berkman: Suck my dick, ass man.
Bernard Berkman: What is it about high school, you read all the worst books by good writers.
Steve Jobs: What if the computer was a beautiful object? Something you wanted to look at and have in your home. And what if instead of it being in the right hands, it was in everyone's hands?
John Sculley: We'd be talking about the most tectonic shift in the status quo since.
Steve Jobs: ...ever.
John Sculley: You're gonna end me, aren't you?
Steve Jobs: You're being ridiculous. I'm gonna sit center court and watch you do it yourself.
Alvin Strayer: Fuckin' Hack.
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