Quotes from Jason Schwartzman movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Backgammon Player: Did you hear they're teaching Japanese next year?
Max Fischer: That's the rumor.
Backgammon Player: And they're canceling Latin.
Max Fischer: What? I tried to get Latin canceled for five years! It's a dead language, I always say.
Backgammon Player: Well, I guess they finally heard you.

Herman Blume: What does Guggenheim say?
Max Fischer: Nothing. I felt I should go to you first.
Herman Blume: Why?
Max Fischer: Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile. The more preparation I can do, the stronger our case will be when we go to the administration.
Herman Blume: How much do you want?
Max Fischer: $35.000 for the initial plans.
Herman Blume: I'll give you $2500.

Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.

Max Fischer: Tell that stupid Mick he just made my list of things to do today.

Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man.
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?

Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.

Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex?
Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it.
Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever fucked before, it isn't.

Margaret Yang: You're a real jerk to me, you know that?
Max Fischer: I'm sorry, Margaret.
Margaret Yang: Well anyway, nice to see you.

Max Fischer: Sic transit gloria. Glory fades. I'm Max Fischer.
Rosemary Cross: Hi.
Max Fischer: Hi.

Max Fischer: Thay are going to cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese.
Rosemary Cross: Well that's a shame because all the Romance languages are based on Latin.
Max Fischer: Yeah, they are, aren't they.
Rosemary Cross: Nihilo sanctum estne?
Max Fischer: What's that? Oh, it's Latin. What does that mean?
Rosemary Cross: Is nothing sacred?

Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore.
Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.

Max Fischer: What do you call getting a handjob from Mrs. Calloway in the back of her Jaguar?
Magnus Buchan: A fucking lie.
Max Fischer: You think I got kicked out because of just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you know what else? It was worth it.

Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a doctor, but we manage.

Rosemary Cross: Well, you pulled it off.
Max Fischer: Yeah, it went okay. At least nobody got hurt.
Rosemary Cross: Except you.

Max Fischer: Your mind's as warped as your ear, Magnus.
Magnus Buchan: Don't Get Nasty, Brother.

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes.
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?