Quotes from Jason Biggs movies and TV shows

Michelle: Okay, I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

Stifler: Are you saying I'm impolite?
Jim: Impolite would be an improvement.

Amanda: Jerry, don't be mad. Don't be mad. And don't be mad at Ron, he was just trying to help.
Jerry Falk: Of course he was. Ron? How could I be upset at Ron? In fact, remind me please to put him on my Christmas list if I can figure out how to make a letterbomb.

Psychiatrist: Tell me about your dream. The Cleveland Indians all got jobs at Toys R Us?
Jerry Falk: Yeah. So what can it possibly mean? Look, I can't keep wasting my hour here describing lunatic dreams. I have a date with Amanda. I can't keep running around town on the sly and live like this. Amanda can handle it, but I need help. What do I do? I have to extricate myself from Brooke. It'll break her heart. She wants to marry me.
Psychiatrist: What comes to mind about the Cleveland Indians?

Amanda: Okay. Okay, I slept with Ron Keller. But I didn't do it because I care about him.
Jerry Falk: No? What then? To punish him?
Amanda: No, I did it because I had to find out if there was something wrong with me. Because I can't sleep with you, the person that I love. I had to know if I was some kind of freak, or frigid. I had to know if I could even get aroused anymore and have an orgasm.
Jerry Falk: And can you?
Amanda: Yeah. It's good news. I can.

Jerry Falk: Okay, all right, I want out of this relationship.
Amanda: Jerry, Jerry don't say that. Don't say that, you know I need you.
Jerry Falk: Need me? How can you need me when all of these positive feelings happen with everybody but me?

Amanda: Am I late?
Jerry Falk: Not if we go by Rocky Mountain time.

Jerry Falk: She's so sexy. Look at her body language. All verbs.

Amanda: I've had a crush on you since we met. Couldn't you tell, the way I was ignoring you?
Jerry Falk: Well, there was something compelling about your apathy.

Jerry Falk: The doctor had better sex examining her than I've had in six months! She has this wayward appeal. Men go instantly crazy for her. I - what'll I do? I - I'm trapped in a situation here. What'll I do? Say something.
Psychiatrist: Our time is up. Suppose we continue at our next meeting.

Amanda: Who do you need protection from?
Jerry Falk: Burglars, rapists, the Gestapo.

David Dobel: ...and the next thing I knew they made some crack about my religion which I found in poor taste.
Jerry Falk: Religion? You're an atheist.
David Dobel: Yes, I'm an atheist, but I resented the fact however obliquely that they implied that Auschwitz was basically just a theme park.

Jerry Falk: Do you love me?
Amanda: What a question. Just because I pull away when you touch me?

Jerry Falk: I feel like committing suicide, but I've got so many problems, that wouldn't solve them all.

David Dobel: Why are you in analysis? You're afraid to sleep, what else?
Jerry Falk: Fear of death.
David Dobel: That's funny. I have that too. My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.

Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?

Paul Tannek: What kinda drugs were you giving out here?
Chris: Drugs? Man, all we had was beer.
Paul Tannek: You can't pass out from beer.
Chris: Yes, you can, if you take something before you drink it.

Paul Tannek: Oh, are you referring to the illegal drugs you disperse at parties?
Chris: What are you talking about? What, are you gonna turn into a narc on us?

Dora Diamond: Well, you know how there are couples that stay together just because they feel like they can't do any better, or there are people who are sad and miserable and live alone? But then there's this microscopically teeny group of luck people who get to be with the person they're madly in love with.
Paul Tannek: Dora, you ever consider being in love and leaving out the "madly" part?
Dora Diamond: Well, what's the fun in that?

Dora Diamond: You have a girlfriend?
Paul Tannek: Ex-girlfriend. We dated in high school.
Dora Diamond: Do you still see her?
Paul Tannek: No. She lost some weight over the summer, so she's dating a lot more now. You know how it goes.