Quotes from Jack Black movies and TV shows - page 4 of 5

J.D.: Come on AH YEEEEEEEH-HA.

J.D.: You've been pinching loaves on the lawn? I play croquet out there.

Coach Norton: When are you going to get hitched there, son?
J.D.: Actually I'm not, I'm GAY.
Coach Norton: Oh... me too.

J.D.: Hey Sandy! It's me, JD, I went to high school with you, remember?
Sandy: Um, no I don't think I recall.
J.D.: Yeah, c'mon. Remember? I went to prom with a tux painted on my naked body?
Sandy: Um.
J.D.: Yeah! And then I spilled punch on myself and everyone could see my dong?
Sandy: No, JD, I really.
J.D.: Oh yeah! We had chemistry together and I tried to light a fart with the Bunsen burner and I ended up singeing my balls... still can't grow hair on my left nut. Sucks.

J.D.: Maybe she's a herm.
Darren: A what?
J.D.: Ya know, a herm. A little puss, little dick.

Judith: I don't want your shitty old house or your dead grandmother.
Wayne: I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power tool.
J.D.: It's true.

J.D.: Do you want a drink?
Judith: Scotch on the rocks.
J.D.: No problem. You want ice with that?

Judith: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
J.D.: Yes... No.
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?
J.D.: Which man?
Judith: Any man.
J.D.: You mean like a tall man?
Judith: Sure, whatever.
J.D.: 'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me.
Judith: What about a short man?
J.D.: How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets.
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
J.D.: Does that include celebrities?

J.D.: Dude, if you get the nachos stuck together, that's one nacho.

Wayne: You're not gay... you're just confused.
J.D.: Yes, I am gay. Oh HEY! Do you wanna be gay with me?
Wayne: No.

J.D.: She used her super-intellect on me! She's like Hanibal Lecter.

J.D.: Fuck you, replacement-friends.
Wayne: Eat this, Fake Wayne.

Dewey: Billy what makes you angrier than anything in the world?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off, now let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Ok, you see me after class!

Dewey Finn: God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray. Amen.

Dewey Finn: Your kids have all really touched me, and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.

Dewey Finn: [raising his first three fingers.] Read between the lines!

Dewey Finn: This school is tough, it will challenge your brain, your mind, and your head.

Ned Schneebly: I'm not paying your share of the rent. I don't know...maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
Dewey Finn: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?

Dewey: Alright, look, Here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?
Student: Doesn't that mean you're drunk?
Dewey: No. It means I was drunk yesterday.

Freddie: Are we going to be goofing off every day?
Dewey: We're not goofing off. We're creating musical fusion.
Freddie: Ok, so are we going to be creating musical fusion every day?
Dewey: Yes.