Quotes from Guy Pearce movies and TV shows

Felicia: Oh, you can't do that with a ping-pong ball.
Bernadette: Do you wanna bet?

Bernadette: We've only recently discovered that young Anthony here, bats for both teams.
Mitzi: I do not.
Felicia: Oh, so we're straight?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Oh, we're not. So we're a donut puncher, after all?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Then what the hell are we?
Mitzi: I don't fuckin' know.

Felicia: Who taught you to waltz?
Tick: My wife.
Felicia: Oh, how sweet.

Felicia: How long have we been on the road?
Bernadette: Four and a half hours.

Felicia: Do you know why this microphone has such a long cord?
Man In Crowd: Why?
Felicia: So it's easily retrieved after I've shoved it up your ass.

Felicia: This old man he played two. He played knick-knack with my poo.

Felicia: Well, girls, what can I say? Here's to a secret very well kept.
Bernadette: Shame it's not gonna stay that way, isn't it?

Dr. Emil Harting: Your nanites are down. All that's left is Ray Garrison.
Ray Garrison: And that's enough.

Harrison Lee Van Buren Sr.: When dogs get sick, they often bite the hand of those who fed them, until someone mercifully puts them down.

Harrison Lee Van Buren Sr.: I've found our conversation persuasive and intellectually stimulating.

Harrison Lee Van Buren Sr.: This is why I never do business with Italians. The spics of Europe.

Aldrich Killian: Ever since the big dude with the hammer fell out of the sky, subtelty kind of had its day.

President Ellis: This is the Roxxon Norco!
Aldrich Killian: And of course, you'll remember that when she spilled a million gallons of crude oil off the coast, thanks to you not one fat cat saw a day in court.
President Ellis: What do you want from me?
Aldrich Killian: Nothing, sir. I just needed a reason to kill you that would play well on TV.

Ed Exley: A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stampanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She looks just like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: What?
Jack Vincennes: She IS Lana Turner.

Ed Exley: Why'd you become a cop?
Jack Vincennes: I don't remember.

Snow: Ok, see here on the map?
Emilie Warnock: Yeah.
Snow: That's where the pod is. You get in it, you fly away. The good guys will come and get you, ok?
Emilie Warnock: On my own?
Snow: You're a big girl, right? Here's an apple and a gun. Don't talk to strangers, shoot them.

Langral: Who was the mystery man on the phone?
Snow: Uh, his name was Fuck You.
Langral: Really?
Snow: Yeah, he was Asian.

Langral: I don't like hurting you, Snow.
Snow: Is that why you're having him do it?
Langral: I can have Rupert bludgeon you all night.
Snow: I'm being beaten up by a guy called Rupert?

Langral: What happened in that hotel room?
Snow: Oh, it was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.
[Snow is punched in the face.]
Langral: You're a real comedian aren't you, Snow?
Snow: Well I guess that's why they call it the punch line.
[Snow is punched again.]
Langral: You don't like me, do you?
Snow: Don't flatter yourself. I don't like anybody.
Langral: With that attitude, I can see why nobody likes you.
Snow: Oh, come on. People love me. Just ask your wife.
[Snow is punched again.].

Snow: Don't get me wrong. It's a dream vacation. I mean, I load up. I go into space. I get inside the maximum-security nuthouse. Save the President's daughter, if she's not dead already. Get past all the psychos who've just woken up. I'm thrilled that you would think of me.