King Jaffe Joffer: Time does fly fast, my son. It seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed. Now you're a man about to be married. She will give you much pleasure, don't you think?
Prince Akeem: I'm not sure if I'm ready.
King Jaffe Joffer: Son, I know we never talked about this. I always assumed you had sex with your bathers. I know I do.
Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows - page 3 of 8
Clarence: Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.
Prince Akeem: Oha, it is my 21st birthday. You think perhaps just once I might use the bathroom by myself.
Oha: Most amusing, Sir. Wipers!
Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.
Charlie Hinton: Ok, you're gonna go out straight for a pass, and I want you to be my blocker. You're gonna come across and cut left and I'll.
Max: How 'bout we just run in a circle?
Charlie Hinton: ...Yeah, OK, that's a better idea! How 'bout we just aaaall run in a circle?
Becca: We need more learning about things.
Charlie Hinton: More learning about things?
Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds.
Ben: Remember when you broke my yo-yo?
Charlie Hinton: I did not break your yo-yo.
Ben: You did.
Charlie Hinton: I did not break your yo-yo.
Ben: Yes, you did.
Charlie Hinton: Your yo-yo was broke.
Ben: Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Admit-admit it! Ya killin me! Ya really killin me.
Charlie Hinton: Wow, goats really love pie.
Charlie Hinton: Any boob can run a day-care center but it takes a family to raise some kids and that's what we're gonna be from now on, a family.
Charlie Hinton: Today we need some organization and planned activities.
Phil: No. We need Ritalin and leashes, that's what we need.
Charlie Hinton: If you don't stop it with that Star Trek stuff, I'm gonna push you in that sticker bush.
Elijah Hawkins: Come on, Thomas! You're Dick Dodge's yes-man.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: I am not a yes-man. When Dick says no, I say no.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: HEY, hey, hey, hey, HEY, hey, hey.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Hey, yo, Van Dyke.
Van Dyke: Yeah?
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Y'all remember Willie Sutton?
Van Dyke: My hero.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: What did he say when they asked him why he robbed banks?
Van Dyke: 'Cause that's where the money is.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Ask you to vote for Jeff Johnson. Good old Jeff. The name that you can trust. The name that you know. Jeff Johnson.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Terry, tell me something. With all this money coming in from both sides, how does anything ever get done?
Terry Corrigan: It doesn't. That's the genius of the system.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson waving a flag. We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson kissing babies. We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson doing anything because you already know what Jeff Johnson can do. Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson. The name you know.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Well I've got to do something to help these people.
Celia Kirby: Don't tell me you're actually developing a conscience.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: God I hope not, it's gonna be a fuckin' nuisance in Congress.
Dr. John Dolittle: ...This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?
Goat: Does Brad Pitt need a goat?