Pat: Do you like country music, Alan?
Alan: Can't say I do, Pat. It's just jilted spouses complaining whilst drunk. Also known as a date if you're over 40.
Duncan Malloy: Of course you're having trouble reaching him! He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit!
Vince Larkin: Contingency plans for something like this don't exist. The situation's never been contemplated.
Duncan Malloy: Well, you better start contemplating because this is a situation that needs to get unfucked right now!
Rev. Robert Jones: Have you no shame?
Morgan the Goat: No... I can't think where I've left it.
Thomas 'Doc' Durant: Mr. Gundersen, have you ever had your heart ripped out by a woman?
The Swede: I was married once, sir, but she run off with a gypsy. Uh, my heart was not ripped out, but, she did steal my cuckoo clock.
Roland: There's something I want to tell you. I know I haven't always been the best of fathers.
Paul: Dad, you don't have to say.
Roland: Shut up and me do the singing for once. The only real measure of a father's success is by how far his children end up surpassing him in life. And you, you can be very, very proud of yourself.
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