Phaneron

Dick and Taxes - S4-E12

Question: At the end of their audit, the Solomons are ordered by the IRS to pay back-taxes, some of which for years they weren't even on the planet. Can the IRS actually make people pay taxes for years in which they had no income?

Phaneron

Answer: No, the IRS cannot make you pay taxes during years in which you had no income but this family hasn't reported any income for years. You are still required to report your income every year, and if you fall below a certain threshold you don't pay federal income taxes. The IRS is assuming they are humans who have a house and careers but they have only filed taxes for a couple years (if at all). To the IRS it looks like simple tax evasion.

BaconIsMyBFF

Angry Dick - S1-E13

Dick: [Reading from TV Guide] "Jerry dates a blind girl [Repeat]. Jerry dates a blind girl." It gains nothing the second time.

Phaneron

I Am Dick Pentameter! - S4-E6

Dick: You have a little tofu on your lip.
Jennifer: This smoothie is delicious. Please have a sip.
Dick: Ah, thank you. But, no, just uh, please, go like this [makes wiping motion near his mouth].
Jennifer: I've got an idea, how 'bout we kiss?
Dick: Okay, time out, you're missing my point.
Jennifer: Finish your food and we'll blow this joint.
Dick: Just listen to me, you have tofu on your lip. It's been there for what seems like an eternity, now please just flick it the hell off your face! [She despondently wipes her face.] Thank you, that's better. Now we can embrace.

Phaneron

Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man - S3-E19

Harry: Hey, what's the matter, Tommy?
Tommy: I have to write a twenty-page history paper by tomorrow.
Harry: Oh, that's tough.
Tommy: Oh, oh, and on top of that, George Kapasouris was waiting for me after school to beat me up 'cause I wouldn't let him cheat off my algebra test.
Harry: Whoa, so what'd you do, hop the fence and run home?
Tommy: Well no, I kicked his ass, but I mean, that's not the point. I shouldn't have to do that.

Phaneron

Why Dickie Can't Teach - S6-E6

Sally: Hey you guys, look: "Rutherford's 10 Most Powerful Men." What number are you, Don?
Don: Um, number "not on it."
Sally: What, have they just never heard of you? How could that be?
Don: Well Sally, I'm just a cop. But I once stopped number 8 for speeding, though. He let me off with a warning.

Phaneron

See Dick Continue to Run, Continued (3) - S2-E2

Evil Dick: Stay and witness my moment of glory, as I impregnate the entire population of Ohio with my demon progeny.
Tommy: Wait, wait. Even the men?
Evil Dick: Okay, not the men.
Sally: What about little girls?
Evil Dick: Mmm, no, not them.
Tommy: What about elderly women?
Evil Dick: I don't think so.
Harry: What about women who are already pregnant?
Evil Dick: Oh, shut up, all of you! Okay, so apparently I won't be impregnating the entire population of Ohio. But all fertile women of child-bearing age who are not currently pregnant, and that's a lot!

Phaneron

Indecent Dick - S4-E8

Dick: Look at you, you're all obsessed with nudity, and it's dirty, filthy and vile.
Bug: It's not dirty, Dr. Solomon.
Pittman: We all come into this world naked.
Dick: I didn't.

Phaneron

Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner - S5-E6

Dick: Does anyone remember why we all decided to be white?
Harry: Oh, um, I went with white ‘cause I thought it'd be a little cooler in the summer.
Tommy: Well don't you remember, Dick? All the television signals that we picked up in outer space were filled with white people.
Sally: Oh, except for that, uh, that black nerd with the hiked-up pants and the oversized glasses. What was his name?
Tommy: Bryant Gumbel.
Sally: Right.

Phaneron

When Aliens Camp - S3-E25

[Harry and Dick bump into each other while carrying a trout and a jar of peanut butter, respectively.]
Dick: You got your trout in my peanut butter!
Harry: Your peanut butter got on my trout!
[Both taste the combined flavors.]
Dick and Harry: Not bad.

Phaneron

Mary Loves Scoochie (2) - S6-E18

[Dick and Liam are engaged in a verbal joust to win Mary's affections.]
Dick: I will now dispatch my foe with an elegant haiku.
Liam: Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.
Dick: I know that. I'm so sick of you. You think you know ev'rything. Will you stop it, please?
Liam: Now, yes that is technically a haiku, but it's a rather pedestrian one.
Dick: No, that was an accidental haiku. I want another turn.

Phaneron

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