Howard: Your grandmother's boyfriend is a first-class ass sniffer! And you can tell him that I said so.
Howard: Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore.
Kate: Cassie! That marker in your mouth, I peed on it.
Brad: My childhood was like the Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some old, warm, black man to share my story with.