Special Agent Derrick Vann: I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.
Andy Fidler: I just think we should be cooperating if I'm going to be your partner.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You are not my partner.
Andy Fidler: Really? Then what am I?
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You're my bitch. My own personal bitch. When I pull the strings, you dance. Till then, you sit there, keep your mouth shut, and don't say a word... like the puppet you are.
Andy Fidler: I haven't met anyone that I didn't become friends with... eventually.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: Really? Because I haven't met anyone who's ass I didn't kick... eventually.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You know how I can tell you're lyin'? I can smell the bullshit coming out of your mouth.
