Eurotrip (2004)

Tibor: Enjoy Bratislava. It's good you came in summer, in winter it can get very depressing.

Cooper: This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on earth.

Scott: Yeah... Um, listen. We're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon?
Tibor: Oh yes! Very soon! They are building it now!

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?
Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.
Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!
Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Cooper: I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
Jenny: It says here this town has a famous nude beach.
Cooper: Alright, look, we can't all just lie around all day, we've got to get out there and experience the culture first hand!

Jenny: So you just go around Europe sleeping with every woman you meet?
Christoph: No, please Jenny, it is not like that. I also sleep with men.

Scott: I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!

Cooper: There's got to be a hundred drunk girls here, and we should be trying to have sex with every one of them!
Jenny: Hello. Mixed company?
Cooper: What?
Jenny: I'm a girl.
Scott: No, you're not.
Cooper: Yeah, you're just a cool guy with long hair.

Cooper: What's the etiquette on boners? Do I role over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?

Cooper: Show her the picture. She makes every girl in our high school look like a walrus.
Jenny: I'm a girl from your high school.
Cooper: No, I mean *girl* girls.

Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!

Cooper: Check this out! I'm the Pope!
Scott: Cooper, take off the Pope hat!
Cooper: Oh no, it's okay, I'm Catholic.

Mieke: I'm so sad and lonely. I just wish... Someone would show up and sweep me off my German feet.

Cooper: You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright.

Scott: I told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
Cooper: Well given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.

Scott: Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
Bert: Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody *pissed* all over mine last night!

Scott: What the fuck is a zussamen?

Cooper: This is just so brutal, and yet I can't look away.

Jenny: Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore.
Scott: Well, that's very sweet of you. Thanks.