Maurice: Hey, dude. Come here bud. You don't know it yet, but tonight is your lucky night.
Brian Stevenson: What do you mean?
Maurice: I mean.
Brian Stevenson: I know, you're going to grant me three wishes, right?
Maurice: Wishes? Wishes? Wishes are bush-league leprechaun, pal. I'm a monster, okay. Listen to this. I'm a monster and monsters don't do wishes.
Brian Stevenson: Then what do monsters do?
Maurice: Good question. I have the time of my life.
Brian Stevenson: We're in somebody elses house.
Maurice: No! Duh! Well, where did you park your squad car, Dick Tracy?
Ronnie Coleman: Who put piss in my apple juice?
Maurice: We take the shit, we smash the shit, and then we put the shit back.
Maurice: We're the reasons why brothers hate their sisters.