
One: I feel like a Jedi.

Jud Crandall: Sometimes, dead is better.

Joker: You know, it's funny. This reminds me of a joke. See, there were two guys locked in a lunatic asylum and one night... one night, they decided they didn't like that anymore. They decided to escape. So, they made it up to the roof and there, just across this narrow gap, they see rooftops, stretching across town, stretching to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across, no problem. But his friend, oh, no way, he's afraid of falling. So, the first guy has an idea. He says, "Hey, I got this flashlight with me. I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me." But the second guy says, "What do you think I am, crazy? You'll just turn it off when I'm halfway across!"

Denice: Yeah, I don't think we're going to be able to fix your phone.
Phil: Why not?
Denice: Well, because its in three different pieces! I don't even think this piece is part of your phone, it looks like a piece to a watch.

Airport Passport Official: Purpose for your visit?
Javed: I'm going to see Bruce Springsteen's hometown.
Airport Passport Official: I can't think of a better reason to visit the United States, than to see the home of the Boss.

Jack Malik: It's times like this I wish I hadn't given up smoking. I could murder a cigarette.
Rocky: Yeah. What's a cigarette?