
Ngoc Lan Tran: What kind of fuck you give me? What kind? American people, eight kind of fuck. Love fuck, hate fuck, sex-only fuck, break-up fuck, make-up fuck, drunk fuck, buddy fuck, pity fuck.

Bailey: So, in all my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.

Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?

Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.

Henry: I saw her ankles.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.

Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.

Knuckles McGinty: I don't do nothing for no one for nothing.

Mitch Buchannon: There's your cot, don't jack off on my sheets.

Strickland: I can't wait to fuck you up.

Joe Bang: I am in-car-ce-ra-ted.

Susan Heffley: Greg Heflley! You're grounded for life.

Maximo: Lesson No. 1: eye contact is power.