Best comedy movie quotes of 2017

Ngoc Lan Tran: What kind of fuck you give me? What kind? American people, eight kind of fuck. Love fuck, hate fuck, sex-only fuck, break-up fuck, make-up fuck, drunk fuck, buddy fuck, pity fuck.

Bailey: So, in all my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.

Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.

Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?

Henry: I saw her ankles.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.

Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?

Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.

Moose Finbar: You do not want to know what's under those rhinos! I saw things I can never unsee, things that touched me.

Clerk: I am terribly allergic.
Miguel: But Dante doesn't have any hair.
Clerk: And I don't have a nose, and yet, here we are.

Strickland: I can't wait to fuck you up.

Professor Poopypants: Hiyah class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda.

Mr. Curry: We don't want him here!
Henry Brown: Of course you don't. You never have! As soon as you set eyes on that bear you made up your mind about him. Well Paddington's not like that. He looks for the good in all of us and somehow, he finds it! It's why he makes friends wherever he goes. And it's why Windsor Gardens is a happier place whenever he's around. He wouldn't hesitate if any of us needed help! So stand aside, Mr. Curry. 'Cause we're coming through.

Mitch Buchannon: There's your cot, don't jack off on my sheets.

Joe Bang: I am in-car-ce-ra-ted.

Susan Heffley: Greg Heflley! You're grounded for life.

Boss Baby: I can't do this without you.
Tim: Yeah, we do make a pretty good team.
Boss Baby: No really... I can't reach the doorknobs.

Maximo: Lesson No. 1: eye contact is power.

Pietro: We just opened a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape, and we're listening to some remastered Fleetwood Mac.
Blair: Oh, that's so nice.
Lea: Oh! It is so good, you could hear the cocaine in Stevie's voice.

Prisoner: Long Live Stalin!
Soldier: Stalin's Dead! Malenkov's in charge!
Prisoner: Long live Malenk...[shot].