Best comedy movie quotes of 2014

Jon Burroughs: He said I was cherishable, and he picked me to join the band.
Clara: You are fingers being told which keys to push.
Jon Burroughs: I push my own keys.
Clara: Ten little bits of bone and skin.
Jon Burroughs: And I'm perfectly capable of going to my furthest corners and composing music.
Clara: Your furthest corners?
Jon Burroughs: My furthest corners.
Clara: Someone needs to punch you in the face.

Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.

Blade Ranger: It takes a special kind of plane to become a firefighter.

Jimmy: If they ever have a kid, you won't be able to look directly at it.

Jagat Janani: What is your name?
P.K.: I don't have any name. But I don't know why people called me PK... Pk.

Evelyn: Werewolves and vampires and zombies, they're figments, Max. They're not real.

Bette Altmann: Henry, what's going on?
Henry Altmann: We have to have sex, immediately! I don't have a lot of time.

Alice Klieg: This morning I woke up and there was a pubic hair on my pillow shaped like a question mark. And it really got me thinking of unanswered questions, like all the times in my life when I was supposed to feel something but I felt nothing and all the other times in my life where I wasn't supposed to feel anything but I felt too much and the people around me weren't really ready for all of my feelings.

Policeman Macy's: Alright lady, I'll put you down. You're an idiot.

Grumpy Cat: Don't get sappy on me. Wait, I forgot, it's a Lifetime movie.

Zach Orfman: Oh, everything's great. Beth's alive and it was all just one big hoax. So, just forget about it.
Judy Orfman: Well, I don't think that's funny.
Zach Orfman: Yeah, well, I don't either.

Phillip Altman: Sometimes I think you're too good for me.
Tracy Sullivan: Don't be silly, I'm definitely too good for you.

Jay Wheeler: Whats the matter?
Daisy Kensington: You're standing on my toes.

Jamie: I really loved your film. That scene with the dogs around the garbage. How did you stage that?
Josh: I said 'Hey, shoot those dogs'.

Pink Poodle: Kill me now.

James Payton: So, you Omar! Damn, man! You ain't what I pictured. You ain't nothing but a black dude. Probably from Decatur.

Robby: Who has sex for three hours?
Jay: We did.
Robby: That's the length of the movie "Lincoln." You did the full Lincoln.

Andre Allen: Fry or die.

Meghan: What does a post-modern romantic writer do all day?
Gordon: Find beauty and praise it.
Meghan: That's like the opposite of what I do.

Dennis: Kylie, it is the drugs you have not taken that concern me the most.
Kylie Bucknell: What are you talking about?
Dennis: A year ago you were diagnosed as bipolar.
Kylie Bucknell: Yeah, to get in the sickness benefit. Everyone does it.
Dennis: Going off your medication can be very dangerous.
Kylie Bucknell: Dennis, I think you will find my mental state is pretty sound compared to the maniac that is living in our fucking walls.