April Epner: Your wife was seeing someone else?
Frank: Pretty much everyone else. I was too much for her.
April Epner: Your wife? I'm sure she didn't feel that way.
Frank: She told me.
April Epner: What did she say?
Frank: 'You're too much for me.'.
April Epner: Ugh.
Paige Hardwicke: Oh, let's see the new Colin Farrell movie.
Carter Webb: Oh, let's not.
Jack: This isn't Paris. This is hell.
Dr. Juvenal Urbino: I love you above all else. More than anyone else in the world. The important thing in marriage is not happiness but stability.
Fermina Urbino: And love. Nothing is more difficult than love.
George: What are you drinking, Bruiser? Oh, is that a bottle of Cock Block?
Jean Paul Clement: Most people are together just so they are not alone. But some people want magic. I think you are one of those people.
Sugarman: I have seen him this crazy since his mother died.
Benji McGarvie: That's not "crazy," Mr. Sugarman. That's love.
King: I trust you son, it's the talking mice I'm worried about!
Ben Murphy: Do you wanna walk the midget?
Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.
Dennis: I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!
Maps: Just remember Misty, no matter what, you're still a December boy.